Genres: Comedy, Drama, School life

18: Drug references, language

EXT. DAWES ROAD — DAY

We follow Leonard, a young man, walking through a random street with headphones on. He is the type of person who usually does what he wants, and says what he wants, but he is still kind and thoughtful to his friends, even if nothing else. He cracks jokes and is confident.

JACOB (V.O.)
Now see, that’s Leo, or Leonard, however, you wanna call him. He’s the “fun” one, we’ll say, of our little trio. He describes himself as a ladies man —

JUMP CUT TO:

EXT. HAMMERSMITH BROADWAY — DAY

We see Leonard walk up to this girl.

LEONARD
Hey there, sup?

Leonard smiles flirtatiously.

The girl looks at him, up and down. She laughs and walks away, leaving Leonard dumbstruck.

JUMP CUT TO:

EXT. DAWES ROAD — DAY

Leonard is still walking to the bus stop.

JACOB (V.O.)
In reality, he’s anything but that.

We see him change the music on his phone. He keeps walking.

EXT. HANNELL ROAD BUS STOP — ON DAWES ROAD — DAY

We see him come up to a bus stop and rest against the stop seats.

He pulls out his phone. It is ringing. He answers.

LEONARD
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m almost there, just give me like ten more minutes.

He pauses for a response which we hear through the phone, but it is inaudible.

LEONARD (CONT’D)
What do you mean I’m always late, I’m never fucking late Matthew, I kid you not, just give me ten more minutes and I’ll be there.

We see Leonard holding the phone up to his ear. We see a bus come to the stop and he’s about to get on.

LEONARD (CONT’D)
Look the bus is here already, just control yourself, damn.

We see him holding the phone still as he walks towards the bus doors.

The camera pans over his phone transitioning to…

CUT TO:

EXT. EEL BROOK COMMON — DAY

Matthew is holding up the phone, and brings it down to hang up. He is also kind to his friends and sometimes acts as an advice giver. He is headstrong and knows what he wants; he is extremely ambitious and always wants to achieve his goals, as best as he can.

JACOB (V.O.)
Now that’s Matthew, he’s patient, well you know, most of the time. Leo just seems to break that patience A LOT. At the end of the day, Matthew and I both love Leo. If there’s one thing I would say about Matthew, it’s that when he sets his mind on something, more often then not he’s going to try see it through. He’s one persistent motherfucker.

CUT TO:

INT. HOUSE — DAY JUMP

Matthew, Leonard and Jacob are all sat around a table. They are playing poker.

MATTHEW
Read’em and weep. Pay up.

LEONARD
I think we should go again —

MATTHEW
— No, no, no, no, no, you hand me that money.

LEONARD
Yeah, yeah I’ll give it tomorrow —

Matthew jumps onto Leonard trying to pry money from his hands.

JACOB (V.O.)
I can’t blame the guy for being ambitious.

JUMP CUT TO:

EXT. EEL BROOK COMMON — DAY

He is standing against a wall. Another person is standing there, Jacob. Jacob is more timid than the rest but by no means a shy person. He is still outgoing but needs more of a push and doesn’t speak his mind as much as Matthew and Leonard, despite having clear opinions.

JACOB (V.O.)
Now that other guy, that’s me. There’s not much to say about me, I don’t get in to trouble you know, I keep to myself a lot, that kinda thing. If anything, I’ll always be honest with my friends. They can trust me and I can trust them. You bet I’ll always back them no matter what.

MATTHEW
(annoyed)
This bitch is going to be late.

JACOB
(sarcastically)
Oh cool.
(normal)
We’ll be late then.

MATTHEW
Probably but it’s not that big of a deal. We haven’t bought the tickets yet, but we’ll have to wait for the next screening and I can’t really be asked for that.

JACOB
We can just chill here I guess. Or we can get food first then the movie.

MATTHEW
I don’t know. I don’t really have much money to eat, I forgot to bring mine.

JACOB
Ah nah it’s fine, I’ll get you something.

MATTHEW
Thanks man.

JACOB
Are we doing anything tomorrow too? I don’t really wanna stay inside, I’ll be bored as fuck.

MATTHEW
I mean, I guess we can go out? We’ll probably just go central though.

JACOB
Yeah that’s fine. I’ll catch up on homework during the day then.

MATTHEW
What homework?

JACOB
Some long-ass shit from Mr. Sutton. I swear to god he gave us twenty questions but each one has a, b, c, and then i, ii, for each of those. It’s such a piss-take honestly.

MATTHEW
Holy shit! I’m glad I don’t have to do chemistry, that sounds so fucking annoying.

JACOB
(annoyed)
Don’t even get me started, I’m so fucking done with him. He reported me for turning up to class, literally I kid you not, three minutes late. He has the biggest stick up his arse. I’m still so pissed.

MATTHEW
(smirked slightly)
I can tell. Did anything else happen because of it?

JACOB
Yeah. I gotta stay behind for an hour next Friday. My mum’s still annoyed at me.

MATTHEW
(breathes through his teeth)
Yeah that really fucking sucks, and you couldn’t argue it at all?

JACOB
C’mon man, you know the school. They don’t give two shits what I say. If I argue, I’d probably just get into more trouble.

MATTHEW
Ahh, we were going to go out on Friday too.

JACOB
I can still go out after, you guys will just have to wait a bit.

MATTHEW
That’s boring as shit I don’t wanna do that.

JACOB
(jokingly)
Woooooow. I see how it is, okay.

MATTHEW
I’m jokinggg. We’ll wait don’t worry.

We see Leonard come up to them at the wall.

JACOB
Leo, how are you gonna be late for the third time in a row c’mon. It’s getting ridiculous.

LEONARD
I was late like five seconds, the both of you overreact so much. Come on lets go, you’ll make us late for the movie.

MATTHEW
(deadpan)
Haha, funny one.

LEONARD
(sarcastically)
Well I am an amazing comedian as you already know.

The three start walking from the wall and out of the park. Their conversation becomes more and more inaudible as they walk away.

JACOB
(sarcastically)
Oh I mean you ARE the best Leo. Who else?

LEONARD
(smile on his face, deadpan)
I will literally punch you in the balls.

MATTHEW
(still jokingly)
No, no, no you started it.

LEONARD
The fuck you mean I started it. Oh my lord.

INT. FULHAM BROADWAY CINEMA — DAY

The three are stood staring at the times board.

MATTHEW
Yeah it started already, we missed it by quite a bit.

LEONARD
My bad, sorry.

JACOB
We’ll just eat then, and come back for the next screening. We’ll have an hour to eat, that’s calm.

MATTHEW
You sure you wanna pay for me though? I can just not eat.

JACOB
No, no it’s fine honestly.

LEONARD
I have spare change if you want to use it. Lord knows I wont.

MATTHEW
Honestly, it’s fine guys.

JACOB
Matthew, it’s literally nothing. We’ll just get like kebabs or go to a cheap chicken place.

MATTHEW
Okay then, thanks.

LEONARD
You running low on money Matthew?

MATTHEW
Yeah just a little, I really need to get a job, my parents aren’t giving me anything anymore.

LEONARD
Ahh, okay.

The three start walking away from the cinema.

CUT TO:

EXT. EEL BROOK COMMON — BEHIND BASKETBALL/FOOTBALL COURTS — DAY

The three all have food in hand from a generic chicken place. They are sat on small walls and eating.

JACOB
But Jessica just kind of annoys me now you know. We went on that one date, and ever since then she’s been blowing me up.

LEONARD
Did you tell her that you don’t like her?

JACOB
Obviously I wasn’t so blunt but I mean, I hinted at it.

LEONARD
You hinted?
(he chuckles)
Hinting never works Jake. I’m telling you, when me and Laura were going out, you guys both know I was having the time of my life but then obviously she fucking cheated.
(he leans towards Jacob)
I had no idea how to tell her that I knew that she had cheated. I was hinting at it for days, and then I didn’t even end up telling her. Tommy was the one who did! It was so fucking embarrassing, and then she somehow fucking twisted that shit on me, like I was fucking with her or something, even though she was the one that fucked me over. I’m telling you, tell her right now. Do it, or we will. Otherwise she’ll be yelling at you about leading her on or some bullshit like that.

JACOB
Do I really have to? Matthew, what do you think?

MATTHEW
I agree with Leo on this one. The longer you leave it, the worse it’s going to get. Plus also, she might tell everyone you were leading her on, and that’s not really a nice option, especially if you actually like Aimee.

LEONARD
(snaps his fingers into a finger-gun)
That’s so true.
(he continues to wag his finger as if it is nodding)
And I swear they have that one mutual friend who’s always talking shit.

JACOB
Sandra?

MATTHEW
No, no, Sarah.

JACOB
Ohhhh, okay.

LEONARD
Yeah her, and then you’re double fucked, because not only will everyone think you’re some lying bitch, Aimee will probably end up hating your arse.

JACOB
I really don’t think it’d be that bad.

MATTHEW
Nah it happened to Chris, why not you?

JACOB
You’re gonna compare me to Chris?

Matthew and Leonard look confused.

MATTHEW
What do you mean?

JACOB
Chris Simmons?

MATTHEW
Yeah?

JACOB
(enthusiastically)
He broke up with his girlfriend of four years to get with some girl in his class, and then he cheated on the new girl in less than a week! He definitely deserves to get shit on.

MATTHEW
Okay, okay, it was just an example, no need to get so antsy. But you get our point Jake, right?

The three have finished their food by this point and start scrunching up the paper bags. They stand up and start walking towards a bin.

LEONARD
I heard Charlie might be having another party this Friday, if you guys wanna see if we can get in. I’m sure I could ask around.

JACOB
I have the detention this Friday.

LEONARD
You? For what?

JACOB
I told Matthew earlier.

Matthew nods.

JACOB (CONT’D)
For coming late to class.

LEONARD
Seriously?

Leonard looks to Matthew who just shrugs.

LEONARD (CONT’D)
They actually care that much? What the fuck is wrong with them? I mean the party would probably be late, I’m sure we could wait and then buy some stuff before we go to Charlie’s house.

MATTHEW
(jokingly, desperate)
I have no money man!! I’m gonna be scraping the linings of my pockets for anything if we wanna go to his party with drinks.

LEONARD
Oh wait, I just remembered, did you never hear back from that café or bakery place thing you applied to?

MATTHEW
Nope. They didn’t even bother to email back. I checked though and they’re not asking for new hires anymore.

JACOB
How many places is that now?

MATTHEW
Like four places that have turned me down.

LEONARD
(shocked/taken aback)
Four!? Fuckin’hell. I’m surprised I have a job and you don’t. Actually, I’m surprised you don’t have one either Jake. It’s kinda weird.

JACOB
Well I had that one job a couple months back, but I didn’t like working by myself — wait, don’t you have shifts today? I swear you said every Saturday.

We see Leonard’s face drop. He stares into the distance.

LEONARD
(quick and softly)
Fuck.

JUMP CUT TO:

EXT. EEL BROOK COMMON — BEHIND BASKETBALL/FOOTBALL COURTS — DAY — A FEW MINUTES LATER

Jacob and Matthew are standing together. We see Leonard hang up his phone and start walking to them.

LEONARD
Yeah, uhm. I may not have a job anymore. My manager was a bit pissed.

He pauses.

LEONARD (CONT’D)
(quickly)
So how are we going to make money guys? Any suggestions?

MATTHEW
Are you actually fired?

LEONARD
They said they’ll review me, because this isn’t the first incident…

Both Matthew and Jacob shake their heads in disappointment.

LEONARD (CONT’D)
(desperately)
What!? I just forgot! It was an honest mistake.

He finishes, shaking his head in despair.

JACOB
I guess asking your manager if we could work there doesn’t really seem like a valid option now.

LEONARD
(jokingly)
Ima take a wild guess and say probably not.

MATTHEW
I’m sure there is something we could all do together? Like cleaning or something, I don’t really know. I’d rather work with you guys if I can.

JACOB
Maybe? But where would we even apply for a job like that?

MATTHEW
Plus, if we get jobs, we could save up for uni, I would actually want that.

LEONARD
I don’t really want to think about uni now, that’s so far away.

MATTHEW
I’m just saying, it doesn’t hurt to think about it now. Money is money, it’d be nice to have some savings ya’know. That’s all I’m saying. I wanna be prepared.

JACOB
I’m up for that. We can all think of ideas and come back to it on Monday?

LEONARD
Sounds good for me.

MATTHEW
Same.

LEONARD
Anyway…

The trio begin walking out of the park as Leonard keeps talking.

LEONARD (CONT’D)
As I was saying. So many people are meant to be going to Charlie’s, even Aimee, so you better prepare Jacob.
(cutely/jokingly)
You could always practice on us.

Leonard blows Jacob a kiss as he finishes. Jacob gives a weirded out expression whilst smiling and Matthew begins laughing. Leonard tries to come closer, pursing his lips as if to kiss Jacob.

JUMP CUT TO:

EXT. SEAGRAVE ROAD — EVENING

SUPERIMPOSE TITLES: MONDAY

The trio are still in some school uniform. They are walking together from school to hang-out and discuss their thoughts.

They start taking hoodies and coats out of their bags to cover up in the cold.

LEONARD
(completely serious)
Okay so, here me out, we buy and sell nfts and shit.

Matthew and Jacob look at Leonard like he’s just said the stupidest shit ever. Which to them, he actually has.

MATTHEW
(to Jacob)
Okay so Leo’s lost the plot. Did you manage to think of anything Jake?

JACOB
Uhmm, I mean. I heard something about modelling, but I don’t think we’d actually be able to make any decent money from it. Let alone get chosen to do it. I heard something about tutoring too, but there’s not much we could really do together.

MATTHEW
It’s hard, I struggled to think of anything really. I saw something about like sport groups but that would mainly be looking after kids and we would be paid barely anything.

LEONARD
(cocky)
If I may interject, your highnesses, why don’t we all work at a restaurant? We can just ask to be waiters or work in the back — I mean at least we’d be working together.

JACOB
I mean yeah, there’s no harm in trying. However, I think it’ll be hard for all of us to get a job in the same restaurant, no? And surely they’d want more full-time workers. We need something which is more just a weekend thing.

MATTHEW
Guys, how about we work in a pool? Like lifeguards? We would work every Saturday, and make some decent money. And it would always be the weekends, when more people are coming in.

LEONARD
And we could fuck around when there’s not that many people.

MATTHEW
Exactly. I don’t actually know a swimming pool we could go to though.

JACOB
I think I know one.

MATTHEW
Okay well we’ll do that. Right after school, and we finish early too so that’s even better.

LEONARD
Deal.

Jacob nods his head.

JUMP CUT TO:

EXT. VIRGIN ACTIVE SWIMMING POOL — DAY

SUPERIMPOSE TITLES: TUESDAY

The trio are standing in front of a swimming pool building.

JACOB
This feels more nerve-racking than it needs to be.

LEONARD
It’ll be fine. We’re gonna be right here for when you come back.

MATTHEW
There are always other jobs too, don’t think about it too hard Jake.

Jacob nods and walks through the doors whilst Matthew and Leonard go and sit on a bench nearby.

TIME CUT:

EXT. VIRGIN ACTIVE SWIMMING POOL — DAY

Jacob comes out and looks annoyed.

MATTHEW
Any good?

Jacob shakes his head.

JACOB
I think I fucked that up.

MATTHEW
I’m sure it’ll be fine, don’t worry.

Leonard is stands up ready to go towards the door but is interrupted by Matthew who stands up and walks in front of him.

MATTHEW (CONT’D)
I’m next.

Matthew heads towards the door.

TIME CUT:

EXT. VIRGIN ACTIVE SWIMMING POOL — DAY

Jacob and Leonard are sitting on the bench bored out of their minds.

Matthew comes out and he seems indifferent.

LEONARD
How’d it go?

MATTHEW
We’ll see, you’re next though.

Leonard gets up and starts walking to the door. Matthew slumps into the bench and looks upwards.

JACOB
That bad?

MATTHEW
I had no clue how to answer any of those questions, I thought I was fucking prepared. Then they wanted some certificate thing? How was I meant to know about that?

JACOB
They asked me the same thing!

MATTHEW
We’ve fucked this up then. What was the next idea we had?

JACOB
I don’t think we had an idea. Maybe Leo knows, but I doubt he’ll have anything either.

TIME CUT:

EXT. VIRGIN ACTIVE SWIMMING POOL — DAY

Leonard is seen walking out of the door towards them.

LEONARD
(annoyed)
What the fuck was that?! Why did they want so many qualification things? Seriously what the fuck? And apparently you “need to be able to swim too”??

Leonard acts out the air quotes with his fingers. Matthew and Jacob take Leonard’s final statement as second nature, and they don’t think anything of it.

JACOB
We realised that as soon as you left.

LEONARD
Well that was a fucking waste of time. Jesus Christ.

MATTHEW
Have you thought of an idea at all Leo? Cause we can’t think of anything.

JACOB
This really shouldn’t be too hard. We can just work normal jobs without each other, like it’s not the worst thing.

They get up and start walking towards the main street. Leonard takes notice of something: a worker painting a wall.

LEONARD
Guys. I fucking got it.

JUMP CUT TO:

EXT. NORMAND PARK — AT TABLES — DAY

Jacob and Matthew are sitting down whilst Leonard is standing up, preparing for his pitch.

LEONARD
(with hand gestures)
We’ll be fucking painters.
(he looks at them as if expecting to be showered in praise)

Jacob and Matthew look at each other from opposite ends of the table.

BOTH (JACOB & MATTHEW)
No.

They shake their heads as they say “no”. Leonard throws his hands up and turns around incredibly offended.

LEONARD
What do you mean ‘no’? I’m telling you, this is an amazing idea.

He pauses whilst rubbing his hands together.

LEONARD (CONT’D)
Get this. We go up to random peoples’ houses, and we ask if they need paint work done.

He opens his hands outwards like a politician. Jacob and Matthew are dumbfounded.

LEONARD (CONT’D)
What do you think?

Jacob looks over at Matthew and then back to Leonard.

JACOB
I think that is single-handedly the most stupid fucking idea that you’ve ever had in your whole goddamn li(fe) —

JUMP CUT TO:

INT. PAINT STORE

We see Leonard in front of Jacob and Matthew. He is looking at a shelf of paint cans.

LEONARD
Yeahhh, I’m feeling this.
(he nods and smiles)
This is the one.

He wags his finger happily.

LEONARD (CONT’D)
The ladies, they’ll love this.
(he reads the label sensually)
Seashell pink.

He looks over to Jacob and Matthew, with a smirk, who have been staring at him in shock.

JACOB
The ladies?

Leonard seems to take offence at Jacobs questioning.

LEONARD
Yes the ladies. See you wouldn’t understand Sir Jacob, you’re just not the ladies man, what can I tell you.

JACOB
(deadpan)
Seriously.

Leonard pays no attention and stares at his paint can content.

JUMP CUT TO:

EXT. STREETS OF LONDON — EVENING

SUPERIMPOSE TITLES: WEDNESDAY

The trio are walking down a street, wearing casual clothes, carrying their bags, the paint can and brushes.

MATTHEW
This is a fucking stupid idea, no one is going to want us to paint anything.

JACOB
What actually are we trying to achieve here?

LEONARD
Guys, we’ve gone over this.

Matthew and Jacob hold confused expressions.

LEONARD (CONT’D)
Look, we have our paint can and our brushes. We’ll knock on a couple of people’s houses and ask if they need any work.

MATTHEW
What??

LEONARD
Like the guys that clean your car windows or clean your gutters ya’know?

MATTHEW
You know what, sure, fine, but you’ll do the talking.

LEONARD
Of course, I am the most approachable out of all of us.

Jacob shakes his head disappointedly, whilst Matthew remains in shock.

They come into the front-garden of someone’s house. Leonard knocks.

KNOCK.

KNOCK.

The doors opens. A teenager of the same age as the trio is stood there — the teenager’s gender does not matter.

TEENAGER
Can I help you?

Matthew and Jacob look at each other. Leonard gives a quick smirk before stepping closer and introducing himself.

LEONARD
Hey there, I’m Leonard.

Leonard holds a smug look. He reaches his hand out to give them a handshake, but the teenager only looks down at it and then back up at Leonard without saying a word or moving.

LEONARD (CONT’D)
Are your parents home?

The teenager looks puzzled.

TEENAGER
No… Why do you ask?

LEONARD
Well ma’am(/sir), me and my associates,
(he pauses slightly as if his mind has blanked)
Uhm, we just wanted to know if you needed any paint work done?

Leonard smiles again smugly. Jacob and Matthew look at each other weirdly and embarrassed. The teenager looks even more confused and bewildered.

TEENAGER
Okay..? No, we don’t need any “paint work” done.

Leonard nods.

LEONARD
Ahh okay. Well thank you very much for your time.

He extends his hand again to shake the teenager’s hand. Again the teenager does not reciprocate.

LEONARD (CONT’D)
If you would just wait a moment while my sales-associate gets out our card.

Matthew and Jacob both look confused. Without looking back, Leonard nudges Jacob. Leonard still smiles at the teenager.

LEONARD (CONT’D)
Jacob, the card?

Leonard awkwardly smiles at the teenager before quickly turning back to Jacob. He looks at Jacob sternly.

LEONARD (CONT’D)
Where is it?

JACOB
What are you talking about?

LEONARD
Oh my lord, did you forget it?

JACOB
You didn’t tell me???

The teenager looks at the trio still confused.

TEENAGER
Well, thanks for coming, I guess?

The teenager starts closing the door slowly. Leonard turns around, and holds the door from closing.

LEONARD
Wait! You don’t want to miss out on our card.

TEENAGER
(awkwardly)
No, no, I’m okay.

Leonard turns back to Jacob and Matthew.

LEONARD
Matthew, did you at least bring it?

MATTHEW
No? Why would I? You didn’t tell me either?

Leonard rolls his eyes.

LEONARD
Seriously?

The teenager looks more uncomfortable.

TEENAGER
I have a thing which I need to get to, so, yeah, thanks?

The teenager quickly shuts the door as Leonard tries to say:

LEONARD
No wait!

The door shuts.

LEONARD (CONT’D)
Damn.

Leonard turns back to Jacob and Matthew.

LEONARD (CONT’D)
Seriously guys? You just cost us a potential future customer. Why don’t either of you have the cards?

JACOB
Leo, you never told us to bring the cards?
(slight stuttering)
I-I don’t even know what cards you’re on about? We never talked about cards.

Leonard steps back.

LEONARD
What?! I did.

Leonard pulls out his phone and starts scrolling through his messages, but we do not see this clearly.

LEONARD (CONT’D)
(smugly)
AHA! Here. I sent you both a message saying, ‘don’t forget to bring business cards’.

Jacob and Matthew look at the phone screen intently.

MATTHEW
Leo, it says ‘message failed to send’.

LEONARD
(surprised and quick response)
What?

Leonard turns his phone back instantly and he reads the message.

LEONARD (CONT’D)
(quietly)
Oh.

Leonard pauses for a second.

LEONARD (CONT’D)
Well, you know it’s not really that important anyway, it’s only a card. I’ll let you guys off the hook for now.

Jacob and Matthew looks pissed, and shake their heads in disappointment.

JACOB
What do we do next then? I feel like this is a dead end.

MATTHEW
Same, but we already bought the paint can. It would at least be nice to make the money we spent back.

JACOB
I guess so.

LEONARD
Guys, trust me. After a few houses we’ll have this in the bag.

Leonard walks between Jacob and Matthew, and exits the front garden, paint can still in hand.

LEONARD (CONT’D)
C’mon, there are houses in need of our expertise.

Jacob and Matthew follow Leonard as he begins walking from the house.

CUT TO:

EXT. STREETS OF LONDON — LATER

We receive a montage of the trio receiving multiple slammed doors in their faces. Each time the trio look more and more exhausted and annoyed. Three doors are slammed in their face.

TIME CUT:

EXT. STREETS OF LONDON — LATER

Finally, the fourth and final door slams in their faces. It is dark out. Disgruntled they walk out of the front garden, and begin walking down the street.

LEONARD
(confused)
That did not go as I was expecting.

MATTHEW
(sarcastically)
I know, so many of “your ladies” did not like the seashell pink.

Matthew shakes his head gently whilst smiling — taunting Leonard.

LEONARD
Ah, shut up. You all agreed it was a good idea to do this.

JACOB
Leo, that was quite literally the only thing we didn’t do here.

MATTHEW
This was a huge waste of time and we’ll only have tomorrow to make any money for Friday.

JACOB
I don’t think we’ll be able to bring any money for it, but it’s not that big of a deal, it’s just one party. We can always make money another time. Plus, don’t you have a little bit of money? You could use that to buy drinks if you want to tomorrow.

MATTHEW
I quite literally only have a tenner left to my name, and I know we can make money another time. I just wanted it to work out for Friday I guess.

Matthew shrugs.

JACOB
We still have time, and we can come up with better ideas.

LEONARD
Hey this WAS a good idea.

JACOB
I’m not saying it wasn’t, but I’m not saying it was a success — anyway, it doesn’t matter.

MATTHEW
(bluntly)
I’ll say it, this was a shit idea.

Leonard stares daggers into Matthew’s eyes.

MATTHEW (CONT’D)
It’s already dark, I just want to go home.

LEONARD
Yeah okay.

EXT. FULHAM BROADWAY TRAIN STATION — NIGHT

The trio are about to say goodbye.

JACOB
I’ll see you guys tomorrow.

MATTHEW
See you tomorrow man.

LEONARD
Yeah, see ya.

They finish, and Matthew and Leonard walk through the tube barriers, whilst Jacob turns back and starts walking out of the station.

He comes to the bus stop directly outside of the station and sits down, putting headphones on, as if listening to music.

He looks to the road and stands up, coming to the edge of the pavement. We see Jacob stand still as the bus stops and he gets on.

CUT TO:

EXT. EEL BROOK COMMON — BEHIND BASKETBALL/FOOTBALL COURTS — EARLY MORNING

SUPERIMPOSE TITLES: THURSDAY

Jacob is walking up to the wall which they ate food at previously. Matthew is already sitting down on his phone.

JACOB
Hey. Matthew looks up.

MATTHEW
Hey, what’s up. Do you know why Leo wanted to meet before school?

JACOB
Nope, he didn’t say. I assumed you’d know.

Jacob sits down next to Matthew. Leonard suddenly walks out between them, from behind, and sits down in the middle of them.

LEONARD
(gleefully)
Hey guys, guess what.

JACOB
What?

LEONARD
I know how we can make money, ANDDDD we can do it all in school.

MATTHEW
Go on then, what is it?

Leonard chuckles to himself. He takes off his bag, and starts rummaging through the pockets of it. He pulls out two little zip lock bags, and throws them, one in Jacob’s lap and one in Matthew’s lap. In each bag there is a small-rock, white substance.

MATTHEW (CONT’D)
Leo what the fuck is this?

Matthew picks up the bag quickly and covers it. Jacob follows suit.

MATTHEW (CONT’D)
What are you thinking showing that in the open?

Matthew looks around to make sure no one is near or even looking at them all.

MATTHEW (CONT’D)
(harsh whispering)
You want to sell drugs? And do it in school? We’d get expelled, fuck we’d get arrested.

LEONARD
(normal volume)
What? No, you’re confused — have one.

Leonard takes the bag from under Matthew’s hand and opens it. He pulls it out and tries to put it in Matthew’s mouth, but Matthew bats his hand away.

MATTHEW
What the fuck are you doing?

LEONARD
Trust me, they’re not drugs. They’re mints.

Matthew and Jacob look confused.

MATTHEW
Mints?

JACOB
Why are they crushed up then? Mints never come like that.

LEONARD
(defensively)
I crushed them up —

JACOB
But why?

LEONARD
So that they’re easier to take in school? They’re so small that you’ll barely have to chew them, and therefore the teachers wont see you eating.

MATTHEW
There are like so many ways to cover up eating in class.

JACOB
Leo, I can’t lie, this is the biggest set-8 idea you’ve ever come up with.

LEONARD
Trust me. Look, Jacob, eat one. Matthew try see if you can see him chewing.

Leonard takes out one small mint piece and places it in Jacob’s hand. Jacob brings it to his nose and sniffs it.

LEONARD (CONT’D)
It’s fine trust me.

Jacob still looks sceptically at Leonard but regardless pops the mint into his mouth. He chews once. Matthew keeps looking but doesn’t see Jacob chew again.

LEONARD (CONT’D)
Well? What do you think?

MATTHEW
I only saw him chew once? I guess it doesn’t really look like he’s eating
(surprised)
You’re right, somehow. But still that’s extra effort for nothing, I feel like we could just sell it normally and save the effort of crushing them.

LEONARD
It’s gotta be like this —

Jacob takes the bag from Leonard’s hand. And sticks his finger in, twiddling the little mint pieces.

JACOB
— What mints are these?

LEONARD
Uhh, regular? I don’t know, not the spearmint kind — that’s for sure. I bought like a packet of four rolls, each with ten whole mints.

Jacob and Matthew are visibly considering the idea of selling mints.

MATTHEW
How much did that cost you?

LEONARD
(shrugs slightly)
Just a pound.

JACOB
Seriously? That’s pretty good. How much would you sell it for?

LEONARD
I wasn’t sure yet, that’s why I wanted to talk to you guys now.

MATTHEW
How many whole mints are in each bag?

LEONARD
Five.

JACOB
Only five? It looks more than that. Did you use all the rolls?

Leonard starts opening the zip of his bag, revealing six more bags. Matthew starts thinking about how much money they could make — he smells opportunity.

LEONARD
Yep, I used everything.

MATTHEW
Eight bags… We could sell a bag for fifty pence.

JACOB
Fifty-P? No one would buy that.

MATTHEW
No, I think people would, if they really want it, and it’s already crushed up.

LEONARD
Fifty-P does seem like a lot though. I think we could get away with selling a bag for twenty-five P.

JACOB
I mean, twenty-five for a bag, we’d get double what you paid.

MATTHEW
Hell I’ll still do that.

LEONARD
(to himself)
How the fuck you do the maths for that?

Leonard by himself tries to use his fingers to count.

JACOB
Yeah okay, but I’m not sure if I actually want to sell this in school. It’s stupid as fuck, I don’t think anyone would actually want to buy it.

LEONARD
Look I’m telling you Jake, people get desperate for anything. How about this, today in theology class, I’ll try sell the bags, and then after school we can decide further.

MATTHEW
It could work, but in class may be a bit risky.

LEONARD
It’s okay we can figure that stuff out later.

Jacob looks at the time on his phone. It reads: ‘8.20’

JACOB
Guys its eight-twenty, we should go in now.

LEONARD
So we’ll discuss it later right?

MATTHEW
Yeah we will, good luck.

The trio get up and begin walking towards the exit of the park.

CUT TO:

EXT. WEAVERS TERRACE — ALLEY BEHIND SCHOOL — AFTER SCHOOL

Leonard is stood against a wall. He’s holding an empty bag with silver-coin change.

Matthew and Jacob have come round the corner; they see Leonard and nod towards him. He nods back.

MATTHEW
How’d it go then?

Leonard pulls out eight empty bags from his backpack.

LEONARD
Sold every single one.

MATTHEW
Wait, did you not give them the bags?

LEONARD
Well we’d have to keep paying for bags. We’re on a budget here man. Look this way, we can keep reusing the bags. None of them seemed to care so I don’t think it’s that big of a deal.

JACOB
Is that the money?

LEONARD
Yep. You can count it yourself.

Leonard drops the bag into Jacob’s hand. Jacob opens it and begins counting quickly.

JACOB
You actually did get two pounds for everything.

LEONARD
Of course I did. It’s me.

MATTHEW
Did you woo your ladies to buy them?

Leonard looks at Matthew with a sharp gaze.

LEONARD
Never you mind how I sold them, it doesn’t matter. So, what do you guys think?

JACOB
I mean it works, but I’m not sure how beneficial this would actually be for us. I think we would need to either up our prices massively, or sell to the whole school, not just your theology class. I mean to be honest I’m more worried about whether or not this will keep working.

LEONARD
Fair enough.

MATTHEW
I literally said we should sell it at fifty-P per bag but you guys said no.

JACOB
Look, I don’t know but I guess it seems like we actually have a chance here. There’s no point selling it at a high price if no one wants to buy it.

LEONARD
So, are we going ahead with this?

MATTHEW
I say yes but, it doesn’t matter anyway. We wont make any money for the party tomorrow.

JACOB
(solemnly)
Oh yeah.

LEONARD
Fuck the party, it doesn’t matter. We could actually make some decent money here guys, and then we’d be ready for the next party.

MATTHEW
Fuck it sure.

LEONARD
And either way, we’ll have a job that we’d be doing together.

MATTHEW
We should probably sell more than just mints though. The whole of sixth-form can already buy stuff during break so we should probably compete with that.

Matthew and Leonard both seem eager. Jacob is the only one who is still a little unsure.

LEONARD
Yeah but none of the lower years can buy anything so we could probably target them.

JACOB
If you guys really want to compete then we’re going to need to have lots of different things to sell. Like cookies, sausage rolls, waffles maybe. And if we sell the same things as the school but make it cheaper, then we’d definitely be able to have the whole of sixth form buying from us.

LEONARD
So are we just selling to everyone?

MATTHEW
Well I don’t see why not. Obviously we need to be careful about this though. If we get caught selling food, then I’m sure we’ll get suspended or worse.

LEONARD
It’ll be fineee. You worry too much. First we gotta buy the food. I can be in charge of mints and other smaller items which we can break up into smaller bags.

MATTHEW
Yeah okay.

LEONARD
I guess you can get the sausage rolls and waffles?

JACOB
What should I get though?

LEONARD
Uhm I don’t know. I can get cookies too and break those up into smaller pieces.

MATTHEW
What? No just leave them as whole cookies. The school sells one cookie for fifty-p so we’ll sell it for like thirty-five.

LEONARD
Okay fine, you do that. I’ll stick to the mints and other sweets I guess.

MATTHEW
The sausage roll and waffles are both one pound each right?

JACOB
Huh? No.
(shakes his head)
The waffles are like sixty-p, same for the pain au chocolats.

MATTHEW
Oh okay. Well I know somewhere I can buy four sausage rolls for two pounds, I can use my final tenner to get all my stuff. But for the sausage rolls we’d have to have them cold. I doubt we can sell them hot in the school.

LEONARD
We can steal a microwave.

JACOB
How on earth would we do that?

LEONARD
Hey I’m just coming up with ideas, you tell me.

MATTHEW
Okay fine, maybe we sell the sausage rolls at eighty-p but they come cold, and then for everything else we wouldn’t need to heat them up, so we can sell them as is.

JACOB
That sounds good to me, but I still don’t know what I’m doing.

LEONARD
Business cards?

JACOB
I’m not making fucking business cards.

MATTHEW
I guess you can set the prices, you’re the only one who does business studies, surely there’s something going for you there.

JACOB
I assure you, business studies is not going to affect jack-shit here, but fine. I can also look for a place where we can sell in school.

LEONARD
Yeah that’s good.

MATTHEW
We only have a few weeks left of school though, so I guess we can see if this works, and then after Christmas break we could continue if this actually makes some sort of profit for us.

LEONARD
What do you mean? It’s the beginning of November, we have time to make an empire here.

JACOB
(ignoring Leonard)
Anyway,

Jacob looks at his phone, and Leonard starts putting the bags away and putting on his backpack.

JACOB (CONT’D)
It’s already four, you guys should try buy the stuff tonight, and then we can start tomorrow.

MATTHEW
That sounds good with me.

CUT TO:

EXT. FULHAM BROADWAY TRAIN STATION

The trio are outside of the train station again, they say goodbye, and Jacob goes to the same bus stop. He sits down and pulls his phone out.

The bus comes and he gets on, walking up the back steps. He sits down, and pulls out a notepad from his bag. He starts writing the school’s prices: ‘1 sausage roll, £1’, ‘1 waffle, 60p’, ‘1 pain au chocolat, 60p’, ‘1 cookie, 50p’, ‘bacon sandwich, £1’, ‘sausage sandwich, £1’.

He keeps writing as the bus stops and starts back up again. He starts writing what he think should be their prices, in a column next to the school’s prices. Next to sausage roll he writes ‘80p’, next to waffle he writes ‘45p’, next to pain au chocolat he writes ‘45p’ again, next to cookie he writes ‘35p’.

Under his table, he writes: ‘could make sandwiches — if so, 90p for one’.

Underneath he writes: ‘bag of four crushed mints, 25p’.

He looks content with his table and moves onto base ideas. He writes: ‘selling point?’. He begins writing a list: ‘playground’, ‘courtyard’, ‘lunchroom’, ‘library during study periods’, ‘empty classrooms’.

He looks up and looks around the bus. Nothing is coming to his mind.

An idea spawns, he visibly considers his idea, and writes down: ‘Bathrooms’. He circles it twice.

During this whole scene Jacob is narrating:

JACOB (V.O.)
Now I know what you’re thinking, “are they seriously doing this?”, “This is the dumbest shit I’ve heard!”, “Who the fuck would ever do this?” And ladies and gentlemen, I can answer both of your queries, y-y-yes, we’re actually going to do it. But at least I got the easy job of setting the prices, and looking for somewhere to sell in school, and looking for a shady place in school was like a walk in the park.

CUT TO:

INT. SAINSBURYS — SHOP — NIGHT

Matthew walks into a store. He walks down various aisles until he comes across the bakery section.

He starts picking things up but realises he needs a basket. He rushes back to the door, and then grabs a basket, before returning to the bakery section. He looks at the cookie bags and takes some off the shelf before putting them in his basket.

He takes a bag of pain au chocolats and shoves them on top of the cookies. He grabs a packet of waffles, and throws them into the bag.

JUMP CUT TO:

INT. POUNDLAND — SHOP — NIGHT

Leonard throws a bag of mints into his own basket. He grabs a few rolls and looks at the selection of sweets on the wall. He picks a couple of sweets off of the wall, and throws them into his basket before walking off down the aisle.

CUT TO:

INT. SCHOOL — STAIRCASE — DAY

SUPERIMPOSE TITLES: FRIDAY

Matthew has his phone out. He is reading his messages.

MATTHEW
(mumbling under his breath)
Meet me in the toilets.

He comes to the bottom of the flight of stairs and walks through a door.

CUT TO:

INT. SCHOOL — THE DERELICT TOILETS — MORNING BREAK

Matthew walks through the toilet entrance into a white and sterile looking toilet. He looks around and sees Jacob standing in the corner of the room. The lights are off, only a light from the corridor passes through the windows in the door. Jacob nods.

MATTHEW
Is this where you want to sell from?

JACOB
Yeah, it’s perfect. We’re at the most unused toilets in the whole school. Students rarely come in here. No one would suspect this. Most of the cubicles are either locked or broken, there’s no reason for anyone to come in here.

MATTHEW
This is where people’s kidneys get stolen, that’s for sure. But if you think this is a good idea then fine, we’ll sell from here.

JACOB
I’m telling you it’s perfect. Now where is Leo, I told you guys ten thirty, and it’s already thirty five.

Matthew shrugs.

MATTHEW
I don’t know where he is? Maybe he got kept behind by a teacher?

JACOB
Probably.

Jacob takes his bag off and starts taking out his notepad with all the prices.

JACOB (CONT’D)
Here.

He hands the pad over to Matthew.

JACOB (CONT’D)
What do you think?

MATTHEW
I think it looks good. We should be able to get roughly double what I paid with these prices.

JACOB
Okay cool. How do you think we’ll sell all of this?

MATTHEW
I have no clue, I thought that Leo would probably know best, but I guess I could start telling people in my class about the shop?

JACOB
Sure I guess that would work —

LEONARD
(interrupting & loudly)
What’s up guys!

Leonard walks into the bathroom, crashing through the door.

LEONARD (CONT’D)
(now calmly)
This place looks terrifying, why did you choose here?

JACOB
It’s a good place to sell from c’mon. How come after everything included in this plan, you guys find THIS to be the most obscure? I put fucking thought into this man. We’ll be able to sell out of here without any of the teachers caring whatsoever.

LEONARD
You know what fine, it doesn’t matter, I brought lots of things today. I think we could make a hefty profit with this I can’t lie.

MATTHEW
How much did you spend?

LEONARD
Like ten pounds.

Leonard looks at the notepad in Matthew’s hands.

LEONARD (CONT’D)
Are those the prices?

MATTHEW
Yeah, here.

Matthew hands over the notepad.

JACOB
What do you think Leo?

LEONARD
I think this looks good.

JACOB
Did you bring anything other than mints? Because I only made a price for mints.

LEONARD
I mean I brought these sour strawberry laces things, amongst others.

Leonard pulls a smaller bag of the strawberry laces.

LEONARD (CONT’D)
There’s like twenty laces for a pound, and I assumed we’d use the same price so I added four to a bag, so at least we’ll get a small profit even if it’s only 25p extra.

JACOB
Wait, those laces are quite long. Cut them in half, and then we’ll have ten bags.

MATTHEW
Are you sure Jake?

JACOB
I think it should be fine, and they’re sour so if people really want them they’ll be willing to pay more.

MATTHEW
Okay, well I’m fine with this all, do we start selling today?

LEONARD
Of course, why wouldn’t we?

MATTHEW
How are we going to sell though? Me and Jake don’t have a clue.

LEONARD
Oh, we’ll advertise alright, we’ll go up to anyone, the people waiting in queue to buy food, and regular people in our class. We’ll drag them into this shop with all our might.

JACOB
But we shouldn’t just tell everyone, some people are bound to try and snitch on us, and then we’re all fucked.

LEONARD
So no prefects and anyone else on the student councils, simple.

MATTHEW
Exactly, even if you’re friendly with them. You never know what they might say, even if it just slips out. They’re with teachers a lot so we shouldn’t risk it. And if they do get caught talking about it, they definitely wouldn’t care about telling the teachers, if it means getting themselves out of trouble.

LEONARD
We’ll start now then. I’ll go up to the common room and tell some people waiting in queue.

Leonard takes of his backpack, and hands it towards Jacob.

LEONARD (CONT’D)
Take my bag, all the sweets are in the main pocket, just keep it safe.

JACOB
Okay, go quick, there’s not that much time left in break.

Leonard walks out of the toilets, through the main door. Jacob and Matthew move to the side and put their bags together. They sit against the wall.

JACOB (CONT’D)
Do you actually think this will work?

MATTHEW
I think it might. Leo seems to think so too. All he needs to do now is bring some people here.

Jacob nods in agreement.

TIME CUT:

INT. SCHOOL — THE DERELICT TOILETS — MORNING BREAK — LATER

Leonard walks through the door with another student following him: James.

LEONARD
We have our first customer guys.

Leonard gestures James to walk towards Jacob and Matthew.

JAMES
Are you guys gonna jump me?

JACOB
What?

JAMES
This is some sketchy-ass meeting.

James looks around in disgust.

MATTHEW
Why’d you come then? Do you not want to buy anything?

JAMES
No, no, I’ll buy something if you guys are actually selling. I’m just saying it looks like you’re either tryna sell me drugs or harvest my organs.

Matthew hits Jacob’s shoulder.

MATTHEW
(to Jacob quickly)
I told you.

JACOB
(quietly)
Shut up.
(to James)
Here.

Jacob pulls out the bags of food and displays them on the floor. He crouches down against the wall, and holds up the prices to James.

JACOB (CONT’D)
You want anything?

JAMES
Oh wow, you actually are just selling food. I thought Leonard was taking the piss.

LEONARD
Hey why I am the untrustworthy one?

JAMES
I guess I’ll take a bag of strawberry laces.

James points at the bag, and looks at the prices. He opens his wallet and pulls out 25p. He hands the 25p over to Jacob whose hand is outstretched.

Jacob picks up one strawberry lace bag and stands up. He passes the bag to James.

JACOB
Here.

JAMES
Thanks.

James looks around at the floor with the food.

JAMES (CONT’D)
Wait, you have cookies too? I’ll take one.

JACOB
Sure.

Jacob picks up a cookie from the floor but remains standing up this time. James hands over 35p for the cookie.

JAMES
This is so much better than the school’s shop. I mean thirty-five-P for a cookie? Fuck yeah.

MATTHEW
Hey James what lesson do you have next?

JAMES
Art, why?

MATTHEW
Art? Tell them about us, they could buy cheap food and have it during your lessons on Fridays.

James nods in agreement.

JAMES
Sure, I can do that for you.

MATTHEW
Honestly, just tell all your classmates, except for prefects or anyone who would snitch on us.

JAMES
Okay, will do.

James turns towards the door with his sweets and cookies in hand. He is content. He leaves.

LEONARD
So, what do you think?

JACOB
Huh? What do you mean?

LEONARD
I did well right? Our first real customer, c’mon.

MATTHEW
I mean it’s only one customer but yeah you did alright.

LEONARD
And now that he’s going to be telling other people, we should get so much more business.

Leonard has an accomplished complexion.

JACOB
You know what, I completely forgot, what if all of this food goes stale? I doubt people are going to want it then.

MATTHEW
Can’t we just keep it in the zip lock bags? That should protect them no?

JACOB
Oh that’s true.

LEONARD
What do we do now then?

MATTHEW
You’re meant to be the ideas man you tell us.

JACOB
Guys c’mon, we should probably just talk to people during class until lunch, and then hopefully sell at lunch?

MATTHEW
Take all the food if you can Jake, or we’ll just stash it here. I doubt anyone’s gonna come in here anyway so it should be fine.

JACOB
Cool.

Jacob picks up the food and shoves it into the corner. The trio pick up their bags and walk towards the bathroom door.

They come out into the hallway.

JACOB (CONT’D)
I’ll see you guys later I gotta rush to chemistry.

MATTHEW
See ya.

At the same time Leonard speaks.

LEONARD
Bye.

CUT TO:

INT. SCHOOL — HALLWAY TO DERELICT TOILETS — LUNCH

Leonard is on his phone, leaning against the wall. Matthew and Jacob walk up to him.

LEONARD
How’d you guys do? Tell anyone yet?

MATTHEW
I told quite a few but I’m not sure how many people will seriously come down here. I said to come at any point at lunch so I hope you guys are fine with staying in.

JACOB
Fine by me.

Jacob says shrugging.

LEONARD
Same.

MATTHEW
How about you Jake? Manage to tell anyone?

JACOB
I managed to tell a few people, but it was so fucking hard. Mr. Sutton kept telling me off for talking, and every other person seemed to be either a prefect or someone who’d definitely snitch. It was annoying as.

LEONARD
But you still told some people?

JACOB
Yeah like four or five, you?

LEONARD
I told a few people, I had geography so there weren’t that many “snitchy” people. Most of the ones I talked to said they’d be coming at lunch cause they couldn’t be asked to go out for food.

MATTHEW
That’s pretty good actually, we can sell this food at lunch cause the school shop is only open at break. We could seriously capitalise on people who want a cheap meal.

LEONARD
Obviously we gotta do that. As long as we’re beating the school in terms of sales then I’m happy.

Jacob nods in agreement.

JACOB
Let’s get set up then.

CUT TO:

INT. SCHOOL — THE DERELICT TOILETS — LUNCH — LATER

We see a montage of a couple of people coming in to buy the food. We do not see any customers’ faces.

We see Jacob’s hand filling up with more and more money between jump cuts, along with the amounts of food disappearing.

CUT TO:

INT. SCHOOL — THE DERELICT TOILETS — END OF LUNCH BREAK

We see Jacob counting up the money, whilst Leonard is rolling up the unused zip lock bags. Matthew is standing there on his phone.

MATTHEW
How much?

JACOB
Five pounds, fifteen pence.

MATTHEW
Only that? That doesn’t really seem like a lot. Maybe we should raise our prices.

Matthew puts his phone in his pocket.

JACOB
No, I think the prices are fine for now, I mean we only had a few people come in to buy, it’s not like we were going to make millions here.

MATTHEW
I know that, but I just assumed it’d be more than five pounds.

JACOB
It is what it is.

LEONARD
Matthew it’s only the first day, chill. We have weeks until Christmas holidays, we have time.

MATTHEW
Yeah, fine.

Jacob seals up the money bag and stands up from the floor.

JACOB
We never actually talked about how we’re going to split this.

LEONARD
Oh that’s true.

MATTHEW
I mean we can do it a third each, I have no problem with that.

JACOB
I don’t know, I didn’t pay anything for this batch, and I know you spent your last money on this. How about we finish selling all of this, and you guys split it, and then when we buy more we split the costs evenly.

LEONARD
I mean yeah that sounds perfect.

MATTHEW
Also, are we still going to that party tonight? I mean we have some money.

JACOB
We can still go, I don’t think we can bring anything though. Also don’t forgot I still have that Friday detention today. I won’t be out until four-thirty.

MATTHEW
We’ll wait don’t worry, and then we can head to the party together. I don’t think it even starts until eight or seven, I can’t remember.

LEONARD
Are we going to sell at the party?

JACOB
Why would we? I doubt anyone would buy anything there.

LEONARD
But if people are drunk or high then I’m sure they’d want food. Also, I’m just saying but we could raise the prices, I doubt they would even care how much they pay.

MATTHEW
He has a point Jake, we could make a decent amount tonight and then buy more food tomorrow.

JACOB
If you guys think it’s a good idea then I’ll agree. Classes are about to start soon by the way, so we should wrap up here.

LEONARD
Matthew meet me at the library entrance after afternoon form.

MATTHEW
Okay, and Jacob just come to the school entrance when you come out, we’ll be there by then.

JACOB
Aight, see you later.

CUT TO:

EXT. SCHOOL ENTRANCE/EXIT — AFTER SCHOOL

Matthew and Leonard are standing by the exit just waiting for Jacob to come out. Jacob comes walking up to them.

MATTHEW
How was it?

JACOB
Boring as fuck. Are we heading straight over to the party now?

MATTHEW
No it starts at seven, I checked, so we have time.

JACOB
Oh okay, well we can probably just get some food no? And then make our way over?

MATTHEW
Yeah sure.

LEONARD
I’d fucking rather eat before. They’ll have nothing at the party.

The trio begin walking off.

CUT TO:

I/E. THE PARTY — NIGHT

The trio are walking with their bags full of food. They come up to where the party is. There are crowds of people, all drinking, smoking, etc.

JACOB
How do you guys want to do this then?

LEONARD
We can split up and look for people.

MATTHEW
That works for me.

JACOB
Okay agreed, we’ll meet back here in an hour?

Matthew and Leonard agree, nodding. The three go their separate ways. We see Matthew walk up to a random party-goer.

MATTHEW
Hey, what’s your name?

ALEX
(slurring)
Alex, you?

Alex is visibly drunk and not that audible.

MATTHEW
Matthew. You wanna buy anything Alex?

ALEX
What, you have drugs?

MATTHEW
No, no, I’m selling food. Do you want any?

ALEX
What type of food?

Alex is stumbling and leans into Matthew, who props him back up.

MATTHEW
Well what do you want? I got sweets, baked stuff, you name it, I got it?

ALEX
Do you have cookies? I’m craving some right now.

The party is loud, with lots of people talking and people drinking and smoking.

MATTHEW
Absolutely, I have lots of cookies. How many do you want?

ALEX
Two? How much is it?

MATTHEW
How much do you have on you?

Matthew hesitates, but seems to persuade himself into trying to trick Alex out of his money.

ALEX
I have a fiver on me.

MATTHEW
I’ll take that.

ALEX
Wait, for two cookies? That doesn’t seem fair.

Alex is still stumbling and wavering on his spot.

MATTHEW
Trust me it’s fair, these will be the best cookies ever.

Matthew takes the two cookies out of his bag and hands them over, taking the fiver from Alex.

Alex takes a bite out of one of the cookies, and walks away.

Matthew looks at the fiver and smiles. He goes into the crowd, eager to sell more stuff.

CUT TO:

I/E. THE PARTY — NIGHT

We see Jacob hand over a bag of mints to someone. They proceed to open the bag, and start crushing it up with a credit card.

Jacob looks shocks and tries to pull their face away as they try to snort the crushed up mints.

JACOB
No, no, no!! It’s not coke!

CUT TO:

I/E. THE PARTY — NIGHT

We see Leonard walk up to a group of girls, he seems very confident.

LEONARD
Sup, girls, how we all doing?

GIRL 1
Uhm, who even are you?

LEONARD
The man of your dreams and more baby.

The girls start laughing.

GIRL 1
(still giggling)
What?

The girls start walking away, getting more inaudible. Leonard watches them as they walk away.

GIRL 2
Who does he think he is?

Leonard looks stumped and sighs.

GUY 1 (O.S.)
Hey there sweet thing.

Someone says in a deep voice. Leonard turns around to see a masculine guy.

The guy leans in for a kiss and we see Leonard’s shocked eyes.

TIME CUT:

I/E. THE PARTY — LATER

The three meet up on the outskirts of the party, in an area where they are alone.

LEONARD
What time is it?

JACOB
Eleven-fifteen.

MATTHEW
How much did you guys sell?

JACOB
Not too much, you?

MATTHEW
I managed to raise the prices so high, these people didn’t even know what they were buying at some points. I gotta admit it, you were right Leo, I didn’t expect anyone to buy anything.

LEONARD
I am quite the genius. So how much did you get?

MATTHEW
I got like thirty pounds from selling cookies and waffles. Some of these people handed me the money and just walked off.

LEONARD
Actually? Wow, I didn’t have that much success, I had people try take shit from me without paying. Someone almost threw up on me at one point,
(timidly, looking down)
And other things may have happened…

Leonard recalls the guy.

JACOB
That’s fucking rank, people drink too much at these. Anyway, how much money did we make in total.

Matthew hands his money over to Jacob, and Leonard does the same. Jacob then takes out his money and begins counting.

JACOB (CONT’D)
Fifty-eight pounds, seventy pence. That’s not bad at all. I still have a lot of food too, what about you guys?

MATTHEW
I still have like half of what I started with.

LEONARD
I have more than half.

JACOB
I guess we’ll just finish selling this all in school next week and see how much profit we made from there.

MATTHEW
First let’s leave, I think some people are gonna realise I scammed the shit out of them and try come looking for me.

LEONARD
What if they come up to you in school?

MATTHEW
No, I only sold to people who aren’t in our school so it should be fine.

LEONARD
Ahh okay.

JACOB
Let’s go then.

The trio begin walking out of the party area.

CUT TO:

INT. SCHOOL — THE DERELICT TOILETS — LUNCH

SUPERIMPOSE TITLES: ONE WEEK LATER

The trio are in the toilets counting up their money for the week. (This is week two of the story).

JACOB (V.O.)
That week was the first of many of our “shop grind”. To be honest I was so surprised we even made anything, but people kept coming, you know. Those who always wanted snacks were constantly buying from us, buying Leo’s sketchy looking mints or multiple cookies at a time during morning break to last them until lunch. I mean we were going crazy with how easy it all seemed, and the best part was we barely had to do anything other than sit down in a toilet. You see, our little friend James acted like a buzzing bee, flying all over school to tell sixth-formers and the lower years alike about our shop. This first week we didn’t see that many lower years though, but hell we weren’t complaining.

The trio are still relaxing, Leonard and Matthew are playing cards, using whole mints as their bets which we see.

JACOB
So our total comes to ninety-six pounds, forty-five pence. That’s including our profits from the party last week.

MATTHEW
(surprised)
Ninety-six pounds?! Holy shit, that’s a lot.

JACOB
The party did really help with the profit but honestly we’ve been doing pretty good here, even though you weren’t in school for three days.

MATTHEW
Yeah, I know, I’m sorry about that. I think I caught something at the party and it just hit me Sunday night.

LEONARD
Don’t worry about it. We still sold everything so it’s not a problem. More importantly, are we going to buy more produce now?

JACOB
Yeah we can go after school. We’ll be using some of this money right, and then you guys can keep the rest.

LEONARD
Us? What about you?

JACOB
I didn’t pay for anything remember, so only you guys get the cuts this time. I’ll chip in tonight and then we can start splitting our profits equally after.

MATTHEW
So how much do you want to spend tonight?

LEONARD
We may as well keep it the same no?

JACOB
Yeah, I think keep it the same. Just ten pounds each, and then you guys get the spare seventy-six pounds, forty-five pence, so thirty eight pounds, twenty two pence. Which of you want the spare penny?

Jacob hands them each their cut, and then holds the spare penny up.

LEONARD
I don’t mind, you can take it Matthew.
(he smirks)
Something strange for a piece of change.

Leonard takes the penny and gives it to Matthew.

MATTHEW
I think I’ll have to pass. You take it Jake.
(jokingly)
It can be your payment.

Matthew gives the penny to Jacob.

Jacob chuckles a little bit.

JACOB
(sarcastically)
Sure, I gracefully accept it. So we all good for tonight?

MATTHEW
Mhm.

LEONARD
Yep.

CUT TO:

EXT. STREET TO SCHOOL — MORNING

SUPERIMPOSE TITLES: TWO WEEKS LATER

The trio are walking to school, much time has passed and the shop has been growing. (This is end of week four — Friday).

MATTHEW
Are you guys really sure you don’t want to raise the prices?

LEONARD
Yes, Matthew we’ve been over this so many times. The prices stay the same, we’re making good money, be happy man, or I’ll make you happy. It was a party of course we could scam drunk people there.

JACOB
(interrupting)
Hey guys, I got a Uni-application meeting with Ms. Nichols, I can’t run the shop this morning.

MATTHEW
Ah don’t worry, we can make it run.

JACOB
You sure?

MATTHEW
Yeah man it’s fine don’t worry about it.

JACOB
Oh thank god, cool. You know what, all three of us don’t actually need to be running the shop, like we could take shifts?

LEONARD
I’m up for that.

MATTHEW
Yeah that sounds good, we can just do alternating. You wanna go this morning Leonard?

LEONARD
Actually, do you mind if you do it? I need to finish my essay during break, I don’t have a study period before English.

MATTHEW
Sure, you can take it at lunch then.

LEONARD
Aight.

The trio keep walking towards the school entrance.

CUT TO:

INT. THE DERELICT TOILETS — MORNING BREAK

Matthew is sat alone in the toilets, his head is leant against the wall.

Someone walks in. Matthew stands up.

MATTHEW
Hi John, what do you want this time?

Matthew looks at the price list.

JOHN
Just a double-chocolate cookie, and maybe some mints.

Matthew looks at the price list, he considers raising the price.

MATTHEW
That’ll be sixty-pence.

JOHN
Here.

John hands him over the money without even thinking about the price.

MATTHEW
You want anything else? I can throw you in a deal, a sausage roll and another bag of mints for one pound twenty.

John shrugs.

JOHN
Sure why not, it’ll save me coming back to buy lunch.

John hands over the money.

JOHN (CONT’D)
See’ya Matthew.

MATTHEW
Bye.

John walks out of the toilets.

Matthew looks at the extra money, smiling.

CUT TO:

EXT. EEL BROOK COMMON — BEHIND BASKETBALL/FOOTBALL COURTS — AFTER SCHOOL

Matthew and Jacob are already sat down when Leonard starts walking up to them. (Friday).

MATTHEW
Guys, you’ll never guess what. Take a look at that.

Matthew dumps a clear bag of coins into Jacob’s hand.

JACOB
Money?

MATTHEW
I overcharged people all morning break. No one said a word.

LEONARD
What?? Why would you do that? I thought we agreed not to man.

JACOB
What did they say?

MATTHEW
No, no, guys it’s fine. No one fucking noticed. It was insane. My first customer was John and I just straight up gave him the wrong price and he didn’t even notice.

JACOB
Matthew, we talked about this, you can’t just overcharge people —

MATTHEW
— You said they’d notice, and well, they didn’t, and I made an extra three pounds from just overcharging slightly. I mean come on, that’s a shit ton more of sweets or sausage rolls.

JACOB
Yeah maybe, but you still shouldn’t do that. Although, three extra pounds is pretty decent.

LEONARD
You’re going to side with him?
(jokingly, teary)
After everything we’ve been through Jake?

JACOB
Hey, calm down, I’m not siding with anyone, I’m just saying that three pounds is three pounds. If no one noticed then we should just go back to our normal prices okay?

MATTHEW
Fine. But I was right.

JACOB
You were, but we’ll stick to normal prices, there’s no need to get greedy.

Leonard still looks annoyed, and Jacob begins counting up the money they’ve made, before splitting it into thirds and giving each of them their cuts.

CUT TO:

EXT. OUTSIDE CHICKEN SHOP — DAY

SUPERIMPOSE TITLES: ONE WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS HOLIDAYS

The trio leave the chicken shop, with their food in hand. They walk around the corner and start walking down a side street. (Saturday).

JACOB (V.O.)
Over the past three weeks in school, we had been saving up, making so much that we couldn’t even keep it at home, mainly for simplicity but honestly I was afraid my parents would find it and think I was a drug dealer or something. Anyway, we were doing good, over five weeks into our business and we seemingly had half the school buying from us. We had most of sixth form buying our goods, and at least a third of the lower years lining down the hallway to our sketchy toilets, just waiting for a chance to buy something to eat during their science lessons, history lessons, whatever, it didn’t matter! Even I started to feel more confident in our groove you know, like I was meant to do this. We were acting like kings on our toilet-seat thrones, absolutely nothing could stop us.

JACOB
Before I forget guys. Let me give you our cuts.

LEONARD
Ah, finally, I’ve been waiting to get our cuts.

MATTHEW
I know, I don’t know why we agreed to wait until now.

JACOB
It was so we could just pay from our profits freely, you both thought it was a good idea. Look, either way, it’s a shit ton of money.

Jacob takes out an envelope which is full of twenty pound bills.

JACOB (CONT’D)
Business has been great recently. Guess how much is in there.

MATTHEW
It looks like a lot —

JACOB
Oh it is.

MATTHEW
Like one-hundred pounds?

Jacob shakes his head no.

LEONARD
Higher?

Jacob nods.

LEONARD (CONT’D)
I say three-hundred.

JACOB
No, no, you’re shooting too high.

MATTHEW
Two-hundred??

JACOB
Mhmm.

MATTHEW
Two-hundred? Over the past three weeks? Holy shit.

JACOB
That’s what I’ve been saying, and I think it’s just going to rise from here. We’ve got to be ‘on par’ with the school right now.

MATTHEW
Fuck, Jake, we could be making so much more once we sell to all of the school.

JACOB
I know, once we start selling to year eight downwards, then I think we’ll be making so fucking much.

LEONARD
(still in shock)
Two-hundred? Wow. We only have a week left though.

JACOB
I know but still. We have until late April to keep selling. I’m sure we could be making way higher by then.

MATTHEW
Do we have everything bought for Monday?

LEONARD
It’s only Saturday chill.

JACOB
We already have everything so it’s fine. Also don’t forget, you’re on morning-break shift on Monday Leo.

LEONARD
I won’t forget, I never do.

Matthew pats Leonard on the back, and starts walking off with Jacob.

LEONARD (CONT’D)
What I never do?

CUT TO:

EXT. WANSDOWN PLACE — STREET TO SCHOOL — MORNING

Leonard is walking towards the school entrance with headphones in. James runs up behind him.

JAMES
Leo! Wait up!

Leonard pauses and takes a singular headphone out.

JAMES (CONT’D)
Leo!

Leonard takes the other headphone out and turns around to see James.

LEONARD
Hey James, what’s up?

James stops and breathes heavily for a bit, trying to catch his breath.

JAMES
Someone snaked on you guys.

James still pants.

LEONARD
(shocked/worried)
What?! How?? How do you know?

JAMES
I swear to god, I just heard about this from Maya. She told me that someone in her art class was talking about the shop, and Will heard.

LEONARD
Will? Which Will?

JAMES
Will J.

LEONARD
(dumbfounded)
The Head-boy Will J?

JAMES
Yeah —

FREEZE FRAME

JACOB (V.O.)
Let me just interrupt here to clear things up a bit.

CUT TO:

INT. SCHOOL — HALLWAY — DAY

We see Will J walking down a hallway, a few people pass by and he looks snobbishly at them.

JACOB (V.O.)
Will J is a knobhead. He is the biggest piece of shit in the whole school, and also the biggest bum lick. Honestly, I’m surprised he has any friends, he’s just a bastard on every possible level. On top of being a bitch, he’s the biggest teacher’s pet and will do anything to make the Head of Sixth Form happy. He’ll snitch on anyone for nothing. He doesn’t care about rewards, he just likes the praise he gets from Mr Andrews.

We see how Will J’s uniform is tidy and neat, all correct. He wears multiple badges to show off his “amazingness”.

CUT TO:

EXT. WANSDOWN PLACE — STREET TO SCHOOL — MORNING

Leonard and James keep talking.

LEONARD
And he ratted? Are you sure he did?

JAMES
Look, I don’t actually know, but he knows. He was asking questions apparently, Maya said he asked where they were selling from because he wanted to —

James does physical air marks.

JAMES (CONT’D)
“buy something”, which is obviously bullshit.

LEONARD
Fuck.

Leonard looks defeated.

JAMES
I’m sorry man, be careful if you’re going to the toilets.

LEONARD
Yeah I will, thanks, tell Maya thanks too when you see her.

JAMES
Will do. Do you want me to tell Jacob and Matthew?

LEONARD
No don’t worry, I’ll tell them. Did Will ask who runs the shop?

JAMES
Maya didn’t say anything about names being said, just that the shop was mentioned and he asked about it.

LEONARD
Okay, I’ll see you in form. I’ll go check the toilets now to make sure Jacob and Matthew aren’t there.

JAMES
Yeah.

Leonard quickly runs off to the school entrance whilst James brings his hand to his head.

CUT TO:

INT. SCHOOL — HALLWAY TO THE DERELICT TOILETS — MORNING

Leonard runs through the hallway and sees that the toilet door is locked. His eyes widen. He turns around and starts running to see a shadow of a figure on the floor. He looks up and sees Mr Andrews. Leonard stops in his tracks and looks defeated. He sighs.

CUT TO:

INT. SCHOOL — HEAD OF SIXTH FORM’S OFFICE — MORNING

Leonard is sitting opposite the teacher.

MR ANDREWS
Leonard, care to tell me why you were by those toilets?

LEONARD
I was trying to go to the toilets.

MR ANDREWS
Running to the toilets?

LEONARD
Can I not run?

MR ANDREWS
Leonard you know it’s against the school rules to run in the hallways, and you ran back from the toilets when you realised it was locked why?

LEONARD
I swear I just really need to piss.

MR ANDREWS
(he sighs)
Give me your bag Leonard.

LEONARD
What? No.

MR ANDREWS
Give me your bag right now, or I’ll call your parents.

LEONARD
Seriously?

Mr Andrews does not say anything.

LEONARD (CONT’D)
Fine.

Leonard picks up his bag and puts it on the table. Mr Andrews opens the bag and dumps everything out.

LEONARD (CONT’D)
See nothing.

MR ANDREWS
Who works with you?

LEONARD
What?

MR ANDREWS
Don’t be smart with me. Tell me who the others are.

LEONARD
I still have no idea what you’re talking about.

MR ANDREWS
You really want to play this game Leonard. Do you want to be punished? You want to get a detention?

LEONARD
Why would I be punished for not doing anything?

MR ANDREWS
You’ll be punished for not cooperating and for running an illegal school shop, and again you know you’re not allowed to sell anything in school. You can’t exploit other students.

LEONARD
A school shop? Who the fuck would do that? That’s stupid.

MR ANDREWS
(raised voice, angry)
EXCUSE ME! That sort of language is not allowed within this school, and it should especially not be used in front of me.

Leonard looks confused. He is unsure of what the teacher wants from him.

LEONARD
(quickly)
Sorry.

Leonard shrugs.

MR ANDREWS
Leonard, you’re making this harder than this needs to be. This doesn’t need to be as serious as it is okay? Just tell me the names of who you’re running this little business with or you yourself will be the only one punished.

LEONARD
(panicked)
What? But I didn’t do anything? You’ve got the wrong person! I’m not even kidding come on!

MR ANDREWS
Okay fine, if that’s how you want to act then that’s okay. Leonard you’re going to have a Saturday detention —

LEONARD
What??

MR ANDREWS
The Saturday is for swearing and not cooperating, as well as for running through the hallways and being out of bounds. You know the rules Leonard, whether or not you were only going to the toilet you still have to follow them. I told you this doesn’t need to be a serious deal but you chose this.

CUT TO:

INT. STAIRCASE IN SCHOOL — DAY

Leonard is sat on the steps. Jacob and Matthew run down the steps and see Leonard.

MATTHEW
Leo!

Matthew and Jacob both sit down next to Leo on either side.

MATTHEW (CONT’D)
What happened?

Leonard looks dead inside, annoyed and upset.

JACOB
We just heard that you were in Mr Andrews’ office and we came looking for you.

LEONARD
(flatly)
I got Saturday detention.

JACOB
What? On what grounds?

LEONARD
Because I ran to the toilets, and maybe swore at him.

MATTHEW
Seriously? He brought you into his office for running?

JACOB
Wait you swore at him?

LEONARD
Yeah whilst in the office. It’s not a Saturday for selling stuff but still. He’s still convinced I’m the one selling.

JACOB
Everybody runs if they’re desperate though? Why would he take you to the office for just that?

LEONARD
Not according to him, me running was apparently my admission of guilt.

MATTHEW
Is it this Saturday?

LEONARD
Yeah.

MATTHEW
Fuck.

JACOB
I’m sorry man.

LEONARD
No, no it’s not your guy’s fault. It’s fucking Will’s.

MATTHEW
Will J?

LEONARD
(flatly)
Yep.

MATTHEW
That motherfucker.

JACOB
He snaked? Seriously? It doesn’t help him in any fucking way.

LEONARD
I know. Don’t worry I didn’t tell him either of you were involved.

Matthew nods, but Jacob just stares into the distance.

JACOB
Fuck man, that’s so fucking annoying.

LEONARD
Andrews said too that he would expel me if he found any evidence.

MATTHEW
Expel you? That’s too far. A suspension maybe but expulsion definitely not.

LEONARD
Apparently so.

JACOB
But why? You still shouldn’t get expelled for that.

LEONARD
I don’t know man, he said it was for exploiting other students. Apparently the school actually takes that seriously. This isn’t just like being late to class or something.

MATTHEW
For fuck’s sake man. Do you think people complained?

LEONARD
Maybe?

JACOB
What if it was Will J? Maybe he lied or something.

MATTHEW
I don’t see why he would do that though.

JACOB
Oh come off it, you know he’d say anything to get someone into trouble.

LEONARD
Seriously?

JACOB
Didn’t you hear about Sam? Sam practically got a Saturday too just because of Will J.

MATTHEW
What did he do though?

JACOB
Will saw Sam at a station with his phone so he reported him.

LEONARD
He reported Sam for having his phone?

JACOB
Yep. I wouldn’t doubt he’d lie about our shop to get any of us into trouble.

LEONARD
Ah fuck.

Leonard buries his head in between his legs. Jacob and Matthew silently sit beside him.

CUT TO:

EXT. FULHAM BROADWAY TRAIN STATION — DAY

Matthew and Jacob are standing outside of the train station. Leonard walks up to them and greets them. (The next Saturday).

JACOB
Why didn’t you come in the rest of this whole week Leo?

LEONARD
I don’t know man, I wasn’t feeling it. I was just kinda bummed out. My mum was so pissed at me, she took my phone so I couldn’t respond to you guys.

MATTHEW
Ahh, it’s alright man don’t worry. How was the detention?

LEONARD
Literally so fucking boring man. I was just doodling the whole time. Anyway, how’d this week go?

MATTHEW
Yeah it was good.

LEONARD
Did you sell anything?

JACOB
Sell anything? What no, we stopped.

LEONARD
Huh? Why?

MATTHEW
Leo, you got a Saturday and you didn’t come in, what were we supposed to do? You said it yourself that you’d get expelled if they found any evidence.

LEONARD
So? It’s fine. When I’m not in school would be the best time to sell, they wouldn’t even expect it. Mr Andrews I mean.

MATTHEW
You have a point but come on Leo, we weren’t going to keep selling with the risk of getting you into more trouble.

LEONARD
So what, do you guys want to stop the business?

JACOB
It’s just risky man.

MATTHEW
Yeah…

LEONARD
Seriously? We were doing so well. My Saturday was a slip up sure but that shouldn’t mean we should stop.

JACOB
Look Leo, me and Matthew decided that we weren’t going to sell because if some random person goes up to Andrews with something they bought from us then we’re fucked, and you’ll get expelled. It’s fine we can get an actual job.

LEONARD
Fine what if we do something that they cant prove.

MATTHEW
Leo we all know they’ll still pin anything on you.

LEONARD
They can try, but if we do something like sell services. See that would work, they couldn’t link that back to us.

JACOB
Are you suggesting we go back to try and paint people’s homes?

LEONARD
That was a brilliant idea and you know it. But we could do something in school.

MATTHEW
Like what?

LEONARD
I don’t know man but you got to admit, if we found something good, then it would work.

Both Matthew and Jacob shrug and sigh.

JACOB
Yeah it would kinda work.

LEONARD
Look I’m not saying we gotta come up with something now, but we have two weeks of holiday, I’m sure we could come up with a plan before school starts.

MATTHEW
As long as it can’t be traced back to you Leo, then I’m happy.

LEONARD
Deal. Now, where are we eating? Cause I am starving.

JACOB
You’re always thinking about food, huh?

LEONARD
Hey!
(he pushed Jacob)

Jacob laughs along with Matthew and the trio start walking off down the street.

CUT TO:

INT. 190 BUS — LOWER DECK — NIGHT

Jacob is sitting on the bus on the way home. He has headphones in and is looking at his phone.

The bus stops and he looks up. People are let on, and the bus continues down the street.

The bus comes to a stop because of traffic and Jacob looks out the window.

Jacob looks down on the street at the civilians on the pavement. He looks at the shops and sees a barbers. He considers the option.

Jacob voiceovers whilst on the bus.

JACOB (V.O.)
I mean, I was stumped, I had absolutely zero ideas. How would we do something that the school couldn’t prove? But then it hit me, by the graces of the Richmond one ninety bus, hairdressing. Of course it had to be hairdressing, it was a blessing from the hair spirits themselves.

CUT TO:

EXT. EEL BROOK COMMON — BEHIND BASKETBALL/FOOTBALL COURTS

The trio are together again this time actually playing in the basketball court.

JACOB
Guys, I think I know what we should do.

MATTHEW
Really? What?

JACOB
Haircuts.

LEONARD
Huh? In school? Seriously?

JACOB
Is it not a service? I mean how would they tie it to us, there’s no way they could prove we actually cut people’s hair.

MATTHEW
I guess it could work.

LEONARD
(to Matthew)
Really? Cause I’m not sure, I don’t really think it would work.

JACOB
Okay wait, just think about it. We cut one persons hair for like eight to ten pounds right. Say they come back for a trim or whatever after a couple of weeks. We could easily make over ten pounds from each student, and this way it would be much harder for the school to even link it to us. I mean who would even think that people paying for haircuts in school would really happen, it’s ridiculous but it could work.

MATTHEW
You’re serious about this huh?

JACOB
As serious as I’ll ever be. I think it’s perfect.

LEONARD
You know what, we can try. I do actually have a barber kit at home we could use.

JACOB
Seriously?

LEONARD
Yeah.

JACOB
C’mon Matthew we could seriously do this. I’m sure it would work.

MATTHEW
Hey you don’t gotta convince me, I wasn’t saying no. However, if we’re going to do this, we should actually practice how to cut peoples hair. I don’t want to make a fool of ourselves, and people actually need to be happy with how we cut their hair if we want to have any sort of business.

The trio keep playing basketball. One of them scores.

JACOB
We should try ask someone to practice on them.

LEONARD
We could ask James.

MATTHEW
I doubt he’d let us. I could message some people about it.

JACOB
Sure, it doesn’t matter who, just as long as they don’t mind the possibility of us fucking up their hair. That’s settled then, if either of you find someone willing then we’ll cut their hair tomorrow or something.

They continue playing. One of them scores again.

CUT TO:

EXT. ALLEY BEHIND SCHOOL — DAY

Leonard and Jacob are stood around a chair. Leonard brought the equipment whilst Jacob ties his shoelace against the chair. It is still the Christmas Holidays.

Matthew walks up with Peter.

MATTHEW
Hey guys.

JACOB
Hi, how are you doing Peter?

PETER
Oh I’m fine.
(jokingly)
I like the open-air concept you’re working with here.

LEONARD
We try our best.

PETER
And I don’t have to pay for this?

JACOB
Nope, it’s all free.

Jacob ushers Peter into the chair.

JACOB (CONT’D)
Okay, let’s get started.

The trio take turns cutting Peter’s hair. We see each Leonard, Jacob and Matthew cut the hair.

TIME CUT:

EXT. ALLEY BEHIND SCHOOL — LATER

Finally we see that Peter’s hair is cut, and it looks horrible.

MATTHEW
I think we’re done here. You can go Peter.

PETER
Already? Damn, thanks guys.

Peter gets out of his seat and starts walking away. Jacob and Leonard look embarrassed, as well as surprised that Peter didn’t bother looking at his hair.

MATTHEW
That was a fucking disaster. We can’t give people haircuts.

JACOB
What? No, you’re overreacting. We can practice.

LEONARD
I mean it was pretty fun, I think we could get better, we probably should have learnt to cut hair properly, but we still have the rest of Christmas.

JACOB
Exactly Leo. Matthew I’m telling you, this will work.

Leonard starts putting away the equipment, and grabs the chair.

JACOB (CONT’D)
We’ll watch videos and everything. It’ll work. Also guys don’t forget about revision, I don’t want you guys to fail.

LEONARD
It’s only mock exams, they don’t matter that much.

MATTHEW
Obviously I’ll revise Jake, don’t you worry.
(slightly annoyed)
And fine, I’m up for the videos, but you guys better get the practice in too. Now let’s go it’s getting cold.

They start walking off in the opposite direction Peter went. Leonard holding the barber equipment, whilst Jacob takes the chair from him.

CUT TO:

INT. 211 BUS — TOP DECK — NIGHT

Jacob is seen watching a haircutting video on his phone, with headphones in.

CUT TO:

INT. HOUSE — DAY

We see Matthew watching videos on how to cut hair whilst sitting on a sofa.

CUT TO:

INT. TRAIN CARRIAGE — DAY

Leonard is eating food whilst watching videos.

CUT TO:

EXT. ALLEY BEHIND SCHOOL — DAY

The three are around a chair with a mannequin head on it. Jacob is sitting on the floor whilst Matthew stands. Leonard is trying to cut the mannequins hair but failing miserably.

MATTHEW
Looking good there buddy.
(does a stupid thumbs up)

LEONARD
Fuck you man.
(does middle finger)
I can’t seem to get it to work.

JACOB
You’re cutting it wrong.

Jacob stands up and walks over to Leonard. He takes the scissors from him and starts cutting.

JACOB (CONT’D)
See? You wanna cut it like this.

LEONARD
Yeah maybe you guys should stick to the cutting, this isn’t working for me.

MATTHEW
Hey man you’ll get there don’t worry about it.

Jacob looks content cutting the mannequin head. Leonard goes and sits down against the wall where Jacob had been previously sat.

CUT TO:

INT. SCHOOL — THE DERELICT TOILETS — MORNING BREAK

SUPERIMPOSE TITLES: END OF MOCKS

Matthew walks down the corridor looking at his phone and turns to see the toilet door is open to his surprise. He walks in slowly, looking at the door handle first and then pushing it open to see Jacob.

The voiceover plays while Matthew walks.

JACOB (V.O.)
After two long weeks of A-Level Mock exams we waltzed back into school ready to sell our new haircutting service. Unfortunately, Leo couldn’t be asked to come in on Monday cause his third cousin twice removed — I don’t fucking know, I think he just wanted to bunk. But anyway, now we were ready to start the fun.

MATTHEW
Why are we here?

JACOB
Do you not like it?

MATTHEW
Well, isn’t it kind of stupid?

JACOB
Hey look if you have a better option then please let me know, cause I couldn’t find anything else. It’s a school, what else to you want me to tell you?

MATTHEW
Okay, okay, it’s fine, we can make do with this. Are we not going to start now?

JACOB
Well we haven’t had a chance to go through this with Leo, so I thought we shouldn’t do anything this break and instead start at lunch.

MATTHEW
Yeah okay, that’s fair enough —

Leonard walks in.

MATTHEW (CONT’D)
Hey Leo, welcome back. How was your day off? I didn’t see you this morning.

Leonard looks at Matthew.

LEONARD
(sarcastically)
Ha, ha, very funny. Yeah I came in late but yesterday was actually pretty good. I was watching a lot of videos.

JACOB
How’d your exams go?

LEONARD
Ah don’t even remind me, you already know I failed them. No matter how much I revise, my brain just can’t keep in my genius.
(he smirks and purses his lips smugly)
So what’s going on? Are we just staying here now?

JACOB
Pretty much. I mean I couldn’t find anywhere else, so I just broke the lock and nothing’s changed here, so why not?

LEONARD
Fair enough. Is everything ready then? Do people know we’ve moved on from sweets?

JACOB
Uhm, well we told people that we’ll be doing haircuts but that’s kinda it.

LEONARD
So you haven’t said anything about the food?

JACOB
Uhh, no.

Jacob shakes his head no.

JACOB (CONT’D)
Should we have done?

LEONARD
No because I want to keep selling.

MATTHEW
What?

LEONARD
I want to keep selling food.

Matthew and Jacob look confused at Leonard.

LEONARD (CONT’D)
I think we were making really decent money before, and we could sell to people whilst we’re giving them haircuts. I doubt they would rat us out, because they would eat their food here whilst we cut their hair or something. C’mon this is million times better than my paint idea.

JACOB
Seriously? Leo, you’ll get expelled if they find the smallest amount of evidence, why the fuck would you want to do that?

LEONARD
I just think it’s a good idea. Look if you guys don’t want to sell, then fine, you don’t need to but I still want to.

MATTHEW
You’d still do it anyway?

LEONARD
Yeah. I’ll sell during break and during the haircuts, I don’t mind.

JACOB
Look we can come back to that later, first let’s just focus on the haircutting. I don’t want this to fuck up —

MATTHEW
— Guys, we don’t have much time before lessons start. Let’s just talk about the food-selling later.

LEONARD
(slightly annoyed)
Okay fine.

MATTHEW
Now are we all set for lunch then Jake?

JACOB
Yeah we should be fine. I think Toby said he was going to come by.

MATTHEW
Okay that’s good —

Leonard still looks annoyed in the background.

LEONARD
— Guys I’m going to go to lessons, I don’t want to be late.

MATTHEW
(confused)
Yeah okay?

Leonard walks out. Matthew and Jacob look confused.

JACOB
Is he pissed?

MATTHEW
Maybe I don’t know. We have to go anyway too, I’ll try talk to him in fifth period.

Jacob nods.

CUT TO:

INT. CORRIDOR OUTSIDE DERELICT TOILETS — START OF LUNCH

Jacob is sitting down in the corridor, on his phone, whilst Matthew comes up to him.

MATTHEW
Hey.

JACOB
Hi, what’s up?

MATTHEW
Look, I spoke to Leonard and I think we should let him keep selling.

JACOB
Seriously? But what if someone gets caught? I can just let Leo fucking get expelled, I care about him Matthew.

MATTHEW
I know, I know… But he knows what he’s doing, and you can’t deny that selling was making us a lot of money.

JACOB
(sighs)
I mean yeah, but it’s still so risky for him to do that.

MATTHEW
Again, I know, but when I talked to him he seemed pretty adamant. I mean, we both know he’s not that good at cutting hair, from seeing him practice, but at least he would still be doing something. Hell, we could just focus on the cutting, he said he would take care of everything when it came to selling, and we would still share the profits equally.

JACOB
And you’re really okay with this?

MATTHEW
What can I do though? Piss him off by saying no? It’s his choice ultimately, I’m not going to stop him from doing it if he enjoys it.

JACOB
Fine, he can do it. But the money he uses to buy food will be taken from our hairdressing profits. I think we’ll start to get many more customers now.

MATTHEW
Exactly we will, and with more customers, more profits from the food. Just like you said, goods and services.

Matthew pats Jacob on the back and Jacob chuckles softly.

MATTHEW (CONT’D)
Now come on, we should go in.

Matthew stands up and begins walking towards the toilet door. Jacob gets up and follows him.

CUT TO:

INT. STAIRCASE IN SCHOOL — MORNING LESSONS

We see James walking up the stairs. Will J walks up behind him.

WILL J
Oh my god, hi James, how are you?

JAMES
Uhh, hi Will? Do you need something?

James looks confused.

WILL J
(snobbishly)
It’s Will J but I’ll let that slide. I don’t need anything, I just wanted to check up on you, you know. I feel like we haven’t spoken in ages.

JAMES
Yeah, I guess —

Will J interrupts James.

WILL J
So have you heard those rumours about people getting haircuts in the school? It’s really weird huh.

Will J gives a fake smile.

JAMES
What rumours?

WILL J
Oh come on, everybody’s heard!

James just shrugs and starts walking up the steps again.

WILL J (CONT’D)
Wait, wait, wait, slow down man, what’s the rush?

JAMES
Just, trying to get to my lesson.

WILL J
Ah it’s fine, what’s being one minute late huh.

Will J gives another creepy, fake smile.

WILL J (CONT’D)
So, do you think Leonard’s behind it?

JAMES
Behind what?

WILL J
(impatient)
The haircuts James.

JAMES
Uh, no. I don’t think he’s doing anything.

WILL J
(not believing him)
Is that so? I just find that so hard to believe you know, especially after he got that Saturday for selling contraband items in school.

JAMES
You mean food? Also I thought he got the Saturday for swearing and running?

WILL J
No it was for him selling, I know because I reported him for it. And it’s not food, it’s contraband James. It’s not allowed in the school regardless.

JAMES
You reported him? Wow. That’s fucking low Will.

Will J looks distastefully at James for not saying his name right.

WILL J
Do you want me to report you too for swearing?

JAMES
Are you seriously trying to blackmail me? God, that’s hilarious.

WILL J
(seriously)
I would take this more seriously if I were you James.

JAMES
Look, no ones cutting anyone’s hair in school, okay? That would be stupid.

Will J nods quickly then stops.

WILL J
Yeah, it would be stupid. You tell your friends to stop or they’ll be getting into a lot of trouble soon.

JAMES
Stop what?
(he smiles wide)

James shrugs, acting oblivious.

WILL J
(snarky)
See you James.

Will J paces past James up the stairs.

JAMES
(under his breath)
Bitch.

James continues upwards.

CUT TO:

INT. SCHOOL — THE DERELICT TOILETS — END OF LUNCH BREAK

The trio start packing up having had a successful lunch break full of customers.

JACOB
There were so many today Jesus.

MATTHEW
How much we make Leo?

Leonard is holding up the envelope, putting the last pieces of change inside, before sealing it.

LEONARD
For the eight haircuts, sixty-four pounds, for food another nine and a half pounds. So seventy-three and a half in total.

MATTHEW
I shouldn’t have doubted you Jake, this is so much more easy than just selling food.

JACOB
Tell me about it, I feel like if we keep this up until April, then we’ll —

James bursts through the entrance. The trio look at him.

JAMES
Holy fuck guys!

MATTHEW
What?

JAMES
(stressed)
Will fucking J just interrogated me before last period!

MATTHEW
Huh?! Why didn’t you tell us before lunch started?

JAMES
I was trying to find out more, also I may have gone out at lunch and forgotten to tell you guys, but he tried to blackmail me too.

JACOB
Seriously?

JAMES
Yeah! He kept asking about Leonard, and if Leonard was the one cutting everyone’s hair.

LEONARD
Did you tell him anything?

JAMES
I didn’t, but he was threatening to suspend me. I just pretended like I had no clue what he was on about.

JACOB
Fuck.

JAMES
This motherfucker was acting like an investigator, maybe he’s looking for where you’re doing your haircuts.

MATTHEW
Does he know it’s the three of us?

JAMES
No, no, he just thinks it’s Leonard and that’s it. I’m not sure if he suspects the rest of you, but I think he suspects more people are involved.

JACOB
What the fuck are we going to do?

MATTHEW
(disappointed and annoyed)
I guess we have to stop giving haircuts out for the time being.

LEONARD
(slightly angry)
WHAT? There’s no way we’re stopping now. We’ve just started to make decent money from this, we can’t stop now. Why don’t we do it outside of school huh? During lunch break we can just go down one of the alleys and cut there.

MATTHEW
That’s good for me, Jake what do you think?

JACOB
I don’t know man, if the school is trying to stop us then I feel like it’s too risky. I mean, we may have to stop —

LEONARD
Stop? We can’t stop.

MATTHEW
I agree, the money’s good, if we can work around the school then I’m all for it. If we work outside then surely they can’t do anything.

JACOB
I still don’t know man, it’s dangerous.

MATTHEW
We’ll keep cutting outside and you’ll see how okay it is alright. Come on lets go.

Leonard puts the hairdressing equipment away into his bag.

Matthew takes the money envelope, takes out a ten pound note and hands it to James.

MATTHEW (CONT’D)
Find out more about the school’s investigation if you can, okay?

JAMES
Yeah absolutely, thanks man.

The trio walk out, with James following.

On the outside of the toilets, we see Will J waiting for them to leave.

He is turned away and only catches the back of the trio’s heads. He goes inside the toilets and looks around, in the sink and on the floor. He looks around for anything to tie the haircuts to Leo and the others.

WILL J
(under his breath, really annoyed)
Fuck! No hair, nothing. Those little bastards.

FADE TO:

EXT. WEAVERS TERRACE -ALLEY BEHIND SCHOOL

SUPERIMPOSE TITLES: MANY LUNCH BREAKS LATER

The trio are seen in the alley. A customer walks in and sits in the hairdressing chair. We see Jacob walk behind them and start cutting.

We see multiple customers get into the chair, with the hairdresser swapping between Jacob and Matthew.

During this Leonard is seen passing food to the customers sitting in the seat.

We see the exchange of money and bags of food, and Leonard stuffing cash into an envelope.

We see Leonard putting more and more money into and envelope, and coins into it as well.

Voiceover by Jacob during this.

JACOB (V.O.)
All those hours of watching videos online finally paid off, I was pretty damn good at cutting hair, and let me tell you I was enjoying it way more than I was expecting. Haircuts brought in so much more money than the average food sale, I mean some sessions we ended up bringing in over a hundred pound, but that really was on the lucky days. I kid you not we were racking the figures up, and our envelopes could not hold anymore. But despite how much money haircutting was getting us, I was starting to get worried. I mean having the head boy investigating us, was like the secondary school equivalent of the F.B.I investigating an investment banking company for tax fraud and all the other illegal shit they usually do.

The last person walks away from the trio.

MATTHEW
I think we’re going to have to get two chairs and cut at the same time, because I’m not doing that again.

JACOB
You know what, we’ll do that starting tomorrow, because I can’t have another busy session like today, that was just too much.

Leonard is counting up the money in the background.

MATTHEW
How much we make this session Leo?

LEONARD
Ninety six pounds for haircuts, two pounds fifteen for food.

MATTHEW
Almost one hundred during a single lunch break? Holy shit, Jesus Christ. That’s incredible. See Jake, this is why we need to keep doing this man, damn. We’re making good money here.

JACOB
I know, I know, but I’d still rather not have to worry about the school catching us than making some money.

LEONARD
(jaw dropped)
Some money? This isn’t just some money, this is a lot of money.

Leonard says, waving the wad of money in his face which he just took out of the envelope.

Jacob grabs Leonard’s wrist to stop the money being stroked against his face.

JACOB
I can’t help being worried about all of this, sorry.
(he pauses)
I want to get out.

MATTHEW
What?

Matthew and Leonard sternly look at Jacob.

LEONARD
You want to pull out?
(quickly)
I mean get out.
(normally again)
Why?

JACOB
You know exactly why. It’s getting stressful guys.

MATTHEW
Jake, I understand if you’re stressed, but please, for us just keep working. I need the money for uni. We all need money for uni. Look we’ll keep working but we’ll be careful. We have it all under control, there’s no way that the school will find out by doing the haircuts outside.

Jacob nods his head slightly.

JACOB
(softly)
Okay.

MATTHEW
Good man.

LEONARD
Trust us, it’ll be fine.

Leonard hands the money envelope over to Jacob and starts packing up the barber equipment.

FADE TO:

INT. SCHOOL — HEAD OF SIXTH FORM’S OFFICE — MORNING

Will J is stood just outside the door to the Head of Sixth Form’s office. (Two weeks after Will J found the Trio in the Derelict Toilets).

MR ANDREWS
Come in.

Will J opens the door and walks in, sitting in the chair opposite Mr Andrews.

WILL J
Hello sir.

MR ANDREWS
So Will, any news for me. I haven’t heard any developments in this for a couple of weeks now.

WILL J
I know sir I’m sorry, it’s been getting harder now. More people are less inclined to talk to me about any of these rumours.

MR ANDREWS
I see. Perhaps Leonard did actually stop.

WILL J
I’m not too sure sir, I think they’re still doing something.

MR ANDREWS
Hmm, and no new rumours have arisen?

WILL J
No. A few weeks back, I followed James to a toilet and he came out a few minutes later with Leonard and two other pupils, but I don’t know their names, they’re in none of my classes.

James happens to be walking past the office. He hears voices coming from the room and does a double-take. He hides behind the door and presses his ear against it.

MR ANDREWS
All three were already in the toilets?

WILL J
Yes —

Mr Andrews interrupts.

MR ANDREWS
Then that should be where they are, doing god knows what. Why didn’t you tell me before?

WILL J
Well sir, I went into the bathroom right after them and I found nothing. No hair, or any stray litter or equipment. It was completely empty, and when I kept coming back to those exact same toilets during lunch everyday, they were never there. I think they’ve moved on.

MR ANDREWS
I see. You still should have told me prior.

WILL J
I know sir, I am sorry.

MR ANDREWS
It’s okay, this just may become a bit more difficult than I had anticipated
(he sighs)
If you cannot find anything then this will need to be dropped. As long as there is no proof of them exploiting other students then I’m happy. If you can find anything then tell me.

WILL J
Sir, I’m sure they are still running their business. I’ll find a way to prove it.

MR ANDREWS
Okay Will, do what you can.

WILL J
Yes sir.

James hears Will J’s chair scrape against the floor and he quickly runs down the hallway, hiding as Will J leaves the office and heads the opposite direction.

James exhales and goes down the corridor.

CUT TO:

EXT. WEAVERS TERRACE — ALLEY BEHIND SCHOOL — LUNCH

The trio are about to set up and get ready for their daily customers.

James starts walking towards them.

JAMES
Hey guys.

LEONARD
Hey James what’s up man?

MATTHEW
What’s up?

JACOB
Hey man.

The trio say, all at once.

JAMES
Guys, you have a bit of a problem. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I just overhead Will J speak to Mr Andrews. He’s absolutely convinced you’re the one behind it all Leonard.

LEONARD
Seriously? He still only thinks it’s me? What else did you hear?

JAMES
He said he would have to drop his investigation if no evidence comes up. It sounded like Will J was more eager to catch you guys out than Mr Andrews honestly.

JACOB
Why does he seem to have the biggest stick up his arse? My god.

MATTHEW
What do you guys think then? Should we continue as is?

LEONARD
I don’t see why not?
(he faces Jacob)
Jacob?

Jacob looks up at Leonard.

JACOB
We’ll continue. But we need to be careful.

LEONARD
I mean hey I’m already not cutting hair I could be a lookout?

MATTHEW
But then who’ll sell the sweets and other food?

LEONARD
Ah fuck. Uhm…

Leonard looks at James.

LEONARD (CONT’D)
James, how would u like to be a lookout?

Leonard has the biggest grin on his face.

LEONARD (CONT’D)
We’d pay.
(smiles and raises his eyebrows a lot)

James looks at both Matthew and Jacob.

JACOB
It would be helpful James. But you don’t have to do it.

JAMES
Fuck it. I’ll do it.

MATTHEW
Okay good, you won’t be doing much though.

JAMES
Where would you want me to be?

JACOB
I’m not sure.

MATTHEW
You could stand down the alley, or maybe closer to the school entrance and send us a message if someone’s coming.

JAMES
Yeah I could do that.

LEONARD
Okay well that sounds good then.

Jacob smiles.

CUT TO:

EXT. WANSDOWN PLACE — STREET TO SCHOOL — LUNCH

James is standing by the school exit, talking with someone.

We see faceless people walk past, with James checking each of them out as they pass, making sure it’s not Will J.

CUT TO:

EXT. WEAVERS TERRACE — ALLEY BEHIND SCHOOL — LUNCH

We see Jacob cutting hair. Matthew is cutting hair too.

We see a shot of the envelope get more money in it.

Leonard looks content.

CUT TO:

INT. STAIRCASE IN SCHOOL — LUNCH

Will J is walking down the stairs. He’s silent. He goes into the derelict toilets.

WILL J
Damn. Where the fuck are they?

Will J leaves annoyed.

CUT TO:

INT. WANSDOWN PLACE — STREET TO SCHOOL — DAY

We see James talking with Toby this time.

JAMES
What do you have next again?

TOBY
Double economics. It’s gonna be boring as fuck.

JAMES
With Ms Cortez?

TOBY
Yep, she’s been in such a mood recently. She keeps handing out detentions for no reason.

JAMES
I mean your class is really disruptive.

TOBY
Hey now its alright. Its mainly Ryan and Max, they’re the ones who keep shouting at her.

JAMES
Shouting? Fucking hell, I feel bad for her.

TOBY
I would too if she didn’t blame the rest of us like come on, I haven’t done anything, why’s the whole class getting in trouble for?

We see someone walk past them.

TOBY (CONT’D)
It’s ridiculous —

JAMES
Shush. Who was that?

TOBY
Huh?

JAMES
(pointing at the person)
Them. Who is it?

TOBY
I don’t know man I didn’t see sorry.

JAMES
Fuck.

James pulls out his phone.

JAMES (TO PHONE) (CONT’D)
Yo, someone’s coming.

CUT TO:

EXT. WEAVERS TERRACE — ALLEY BEHIND SCHOOL — DAY

We see Matthew holding up the phone whilst Jacob is cutting someone’s hair (Charlie). Jacob and Leonard are talking.

MATTHEW (TO PHONE)
Who?
(he pauses)
What do you mean you didn’t see?
(he pauses again)
Try follow them, get a better look.

Jacob and Leonard look up at Matthew.

JACOB
We good Matthew?

MATTHEW (TO PHONE)
Should we pack up?

Leonard attentively moves his head. Jacob is trying to hear James through the phone.

MATTHEW (CONT’D)
(to Leonard and Jacob)
Guys we gotta move. James can’t confirm their identity.

LEONARD
Fuck.

JACOB
Don’t worry it’s good.
(to Charlie)
Hey man come back after school. It’s almost finished I just gotta touch you up.

CHARLIE
Should I pay now?

JACOB
No don’t worry, pay later when it’s finished.

CHARLIE
Aight.

Jacob scrambles putting the equipment away.

Matthew folds up the chairs stuffing them behind a dumpster. He grabs the tarp of hair and ties it up, stuffing it into the dumpster.

Leonard grabs the money stuffing it in a pocket and stuffing the food into his bag.

The trio have quickly cleared up, there is no proof of any hair cutting.

The trio start walking off in the opposite direction of Charlie.

CUT TO:

EXT. FARM LANE — DAY

Charlie is walking by the person James saw. It is Will J.

WILL J
Nice haircut man.

Charlie without recognising it’s Will J starts speaking.

CHARLIE
Thanks man, they did me up nicely —

He sees it’s Will J, his heart drops, he realises what he’s done.

WILL J
It does looks pretty good, they must’ve had a lot of practice.

Charlie doesn’t speak anymore he scurries off. Will J’s eyes follow him, he looks back in the direction Charlie came from and starts walking.

CUT TO:

EXT. WEAVERS TERRACE — ALLEY BEHIND SCHOOL — DAY

Will J runs up to the alley, there’s no one there.

WILL J
(to himself)
Where the fuck did they go? How did they know? Damn.

Will J has some sort of realisation.

WILL J (CONT’D)
(to himself)
Someone was standing at the gates. Those fuckers have a look-out.

He looks defeated.

Will J starts looking around, looking at the ground for hair. His attention is drawn to the dumpster. He looks inside but doesn’t see anything. He looks around the bin and sees something. He moves the bin forward and finds the foldable chairs. He pulls his phone out and takes a photo.

CUT TO:

INT. STAIRCASE IN SCHOOL — AFTER LUNCH

Jacob is walking up the steps. James catches up to him.

JAMES
Jacob did you get caught?

JACOB
No, no. Nothing happened. We packed up. It should be fine.

JAMES
Man I’m sorry, I completely wasn’t paying attention, I realised someone was passing too late.

JACOB
It’s fine for this time, but be careful next time. I think it was close today.

JAMES
Yeah I will, I’ll be on full alert.

CUT TO:

EXT. WEAVERS TERRACE — ALLEY BEHIND SCHOOL — LUNCH

Another lunch. Jacob is cutting someone’s hair.

Leonard is on his phone.

Matthew is sitting on the spare chair.

JACOB
I mean it was close last time but I think it’s fine now. It’s been over a week and we’ve had no close calls or anything.

MATTHEW
Hiring James was definitely a good thing. I’m sure we’ve saved a lot of time.

JACOB
I’m honestly glad we’ve had more time to cut hair, I think I’m getting better I can’t lie.

MATTHEW
You definitely are, no one’s asking for me to cut their hair anymore. In class it’s always “when’s Jacob free?”

JACOB
I have fans?
(sarcastically)
I feel honoured.

Jacob brings his hand to his chest.

MATTHEW
You’re stealing my customers man.
(playfully)

CUT TO:

EXT. WANSDOWN PLACE — STREET TO SCHOOL — DAY

We see Will J walk out of the entrance, he sees James by himself not paying attention to where Will J is. Will J takes a photo of James.

CUT TO:

EXT. WEAVERS TERRACE — ALLEY BEHIND SCHOOL — END OF LUNCH BREAK

Leonard and Matthew have packed their things away. Jacob is finishing up on Miguel.

MATTHEW
Jacob come on, we’ll be late.

JACOB
Ah it’s fine guys. Go without me, it’ll be like two minutes. Miguel has study-leave so it’s only me who’s gotta go back. It’ll be fine.

LEONARD
You sure Jake?

JACOB
Yeah man don’t worry.

MATTHEW
Okay, fine.

Matthew and Leonard start walking off, they go the direction towards James — which Charlie had previously gone down.

Jacob finishes up and Miguel stands up and leaves after giving Jacob the money.

CUT TO:

EXT. SEAGRAVE ROAD — ROAD TO SCHOOL — END OF LUNCH BREAK

Will J is walking outside of school.

WILL J
(to himself)
And no look-out, perfect.

He keeps walking down the road.

CUT TO:

EXT. WEAVERS TERRACE — ALLEY BEHIND SCHOOL — END OF LUNCH BREAK

Will J comes closer and sees Jacob packing up the hairdressing equipment. The chair is still unfolded and the tarp is still on the floor.

Will J takes his phone out and zooms in. He takes a few photos.

He looks at his photos, with a grin.

WILL J
(to himself)
Wait, I don’t know who the fuck this is?

CUT TO:

INT. FULHAM BROADWAY TRAIN STATION — UNDERGROUND — AFTER SCHOOL

We see Will J walking along the train platform. He spots Peter, the first haircut experiment of the Trio. He walks up to him.

WILL J
Hey Peter, what’s up?

PETER
Will, hi. I’m alright, how about you?

WILL J
Fine. Well, to be entirely honest, I’m a bit stressed out you know.

PETER
Oh really? What’s wrong man? I’m always someone you can talk to.

The train approaches the platform, and they both get on and sit next to each other.

WILL J
Well, have you heard those rumours about hairdressers in our school, cutting pupils hairs during school hours.

PETER
Uhm, yeah…

WILL J
Well, Mr Andrews is adamant that I’m the only one that can help him find this out, and you know me man, I wouldn’t just rat out a bunch of my classmates, you’ve been in my form since year seven.

PETER
Yeah.

WILL J
Mr Andrews basically said, that if I don’t find out who these people are, then I’ll be suspended, even though I haven’t even done anything. Honestly, just because I’m head boy doesn’t mean that I’ll be his puppet ya know?

PETER
Yeah I get that. It really sucks.

WILL J
I don’t know what to do man, it’s really fucking with my head you know. I hate to ask you this, but is there any way you would know about something like these hairdressers.

Peter looks around and sighs.

PETER
Look, these uh hairdressers, I was a little pissed at them. They gave me a free haircut but they fucked my hair up. I didn’t even realise until I after I already left them.

QUICK CUT TO:

EXT. STREETS OF LONDON — DAY

We see Peter walk down a street, catch a glimpse of himself in a store’s window reflection.

He double takes and stares at his terrible haircut. His eyes widens and an expression of pure terror fills his face as he is about to scream.

QUICK CUT TO:

INT. TRAIN CARRIAGE — AFTER SCHOOL

We continue to Will J and Peter’s conversation.

WILL J
I see.

PETER
I mean everyone was making fun of my hair for the first couple of weeks back, it was horrible.

WILL J
It looks good now though.

PETER
Well yeah, but that’s only because I got it professionally cut after I couldn’t deal with the teasing.

WILL J
Man I feel you, that sucks so much. Look, if you could help me out then that would be amazing but you really don’t need to Peter.

Peter sighs again.

PETER
Look, one of the guys who was the one who invited me to the haircut, well he’s helped me with something in the past, some real personal problem type shit. I don’t want him to get into any trouble you know.

WILL J
No, yeah, I completely understand.

PETER
Another of them, well we were close once, but I still don’t want to get him into any trouble cause he’s kind of cool.

WILL J
Look man, I completely, completely get that, just say whatever you’re comfortable with saying you know.

PETER
There’s one other guy. Now you have to promise me that you don’t go looking for the other guys right?

WILL J
Hand on heart, I promise.

Will J moves his right hand onto his heart.

PETER
His name is Jacob.

WILL J
Jacob?

PETER
Yeah, he’s the only Jacob in our year so Mr Andrews will know his last name.

WILL J
Thank you so much Peter, this means the world to me. Seriously, you’ve just saved my arse from getting into so much trouble.

PETER
Don’t worry about it, but remember only Jacob was there. It’s all on him, he has to take all of the blame.

WILL J
Don’t worry, he’ll be the only name I mention.

PETER
Ah this is me, I’ll see you in school.

WILL J
Yeah, bye.

Will J gives a weak wave goodbye as Peter gets up and leaves the train carriage. The train starts up again and Will J takes out his phone which is clearly recording a voice memo. He is content with the new information he has gathered.

CUT TO:

INT. HEAD OF SIXTH FORM’S OFFICE — MORNING

Will J is sat down in the chair. Mr Andrews walks in. He sits in his chair.

MR ANDREWS
So Will, why did you want to see me?

WILL J
I figured out who one of them is.

MR ANDREWS
Who? What are you talking about?

WILL J
The hairdressers.

MR ANDREWS
Oh wow, you actually found one of them?

WILL J
Yes. Here.

Will J picks up his bag, he passes over some of the photos he took: one of the chairs behind the bin, a few of Jacob clearing up, one of the look-out with their face obscured.

WILL J (CONT’D)
And sir could I have permission to show you something on my phone.

MR ANDREWS
Yes okay.

Will J pulls out his phone and presses a voice memo. They both sit in silence as the recording plays.

FROM VOICE RECORDING

PETER (O.S.)
His name is Jacob.

WILL J (O.S.)
Jacob?

PETER (O.S.)
Yeah, he’s the only Jacob in our year so Mr Andrews will know his last name.

END OF VOICE RECORDING

Mr Andrews looks up.

MR ANDREWS
Who is speaking on this recording?

WILL J
Me and Peter Daniels.

MR ANDREWS
I see.

Mr Andrews picks up the photo of Jacob.

MR ANDREWS (CONT’D)
This is Jacob alright. I can’t believe it, wow. I honestly don’t know how you figured it out. And is it only him?

WILL J
No, I was told there were three but I was only given names for this guy. And there is also the look out.

Will J points to the look-out photo.

MR ANDREWS
Being a look-out doesn’t deserve any punishment.

WILL J
Sir?

MR ANDREWS
I can’t give out a detention for standing by a school entrance that would be ridiculous.

WILL J
I guess.

MR ANDREWS
All I can do is punish Jacob, which is very disappointing as his teachers always praise him. Thank you Will, you may go.

Will J stands up, about to take his phone when.

MR ANDREWS (CONT’D)
Leave your phone. I do need to confiscate it. It’s against the school rules.

WILL J
But? —

MR ANDREWS
Go.

Will J leaves.

CUT TO:

EXT. WANSDOWN PLACE — SCHOOL ENTRANCE/EXIT — MORNING

Jacob is walking towards the school entrance/exit. Will J is waiting in the middle of the path.

Jacob looks concerned but keep walking towards him.

WILL J
Hey Jacob right? Would you mind talking for a second?

JACOB
Yeah sure, what’s up?

WILL J
I’m Will —

JACOB
I know.

WILL J
Well, I just heard something interesting and thought that you should know.

JACOB
Oh really? What is it?

WILL J
Well, someone has been cutting hair in school, and supposedly been making a lot of money.

Jacob acts surprised.

JACOB
Really? That’s so weird.

WILL J
(enthusiastically)
I know right!
(flatly)
So imagine my surprise, when I found out that that little hairdresser is you.

Jacobs face changes, his complexion drops.

WILL J (CONT’D)
Yeah I know, it’s really shocking.

JACOB
I don’t know what you mean by that, but I have not been involved in any hairdressing of the sort.

WILL J
Really? Well, I have a recording stating otherwise.
(he pauses)
You know Jacob, I can tell you’re a good pupil, you know, the type that never gets into trouble. What I’m saying is, I don’t think you’re the main cause behind this hairdressing scheme, I mean it’s such a stupid idea, and you sir are a smart pupil with teachers who think very highly of you.

Jacob doesn’t say anything, he just stares into Will J’s eyes.

WILL J (CONT’D)
Look Jacob, I’m giving you a choice here. You can either tell me the two names of the other people in your trio, and you can walk free, no detention, no suspension, nothing. Now I can’t say the same for your posse, but your future won’t be ruined by these silly little escapades.
(he pauses to look at Jacob’s face)
What do you say?

Jacob stands in thought for a moment, this could be his way out.

JACOB
I say, I say go fuck yourself. If you want information, then you’ll have to pry it out of me.

WILL J
Excellent, I’ll be looking forward to it Jacob.

Will J turns and heads towards the school entrance, leaving Jacob alone and puzzled. He upholds a shocked expression on his face.

He takes out his phone and calls up Matthew and Leonard.

JACOB
(on phone)
Guys, guys, we are fucked I’m telling you, we are fucked. Will J knows I’m involved, he tried to get me to rat you guys out.

MATTHEW (O.S.)
(through phone)
What? How the fuck does he know?

LEONARD (O.S.)
(through phone)
Did someone snake on us?

JACOB
I don’t fucking know guys, I’m freaking out here. This motherfucker was literally waiting for me to come into school this morning, he was literally waiting for me!

MATTHEW (O.S.)
Fuck, fuck, fuck man. What do we do? He’s going to report you the first chance he gets.

JACOB
You don’t think I don’t know that? My arse if fried here man. I’m so fucked. Everything is pinned on me right now. I don’t think they’re even convinced you’re involved anymore Leo, cause he didn’t mention you by name.

LEONARD (O.S.)
I’m sure that motherfucking Mr Andrews will still want to blame me either way.

JACOB
I’m so fucked!

MATTHEW (O.S.)
Just don’t say anything, the worst that can happen is a small suspension-

Jacob hangs up the phone. He puts it away quickly and turns to see Will J in the distance walking towards him.

Jacob begins walking towards Will J.

WILL J
(with a grin)
Jacob, you need to come with me. Mr Andrews is expecting you.

Will J starts walking away, and Jacob follows behind him.

CUT TO:

INT. SCHOOL — HEAD OF SIXTH FORM’S OFFICE — MORNING

Jacob is sat at the desk in the office alone. The door opens behind him and Mr Andrews walks in, then sits down.

MR ANDREWS
So Jacob, first of all good morning. It is very early, and quite frankly I didn’t want to deal with this so early on in the day, however, Will reported you for insulting him using foul language which you know is not permitting on school property.
(he pauses)
Now Jacob, I just want to give you a chance to explain yourself. Will gave me his insight on the matter, and it seemed that he believed there were “bigger fish” so to speak in this operation of yours. I’m giving you a chance to tell me the names of those people, and then your punishment will be reduced severely. Now I can’t give you no punishment, you did use vulgar language and verbally assault your head boy, and quite frankly that cannot go unpunished. So, what will it be Jacob?

Jacob sits in silence for a moment, he doesn’t want to get his friends in trouble, and at this point there is nothing he can do to not get into trouble himself.

JACOB
I —
(he hesitates)
I didn’t do anything.

Mr Andrews nods.

MR ANDREWS
Okay, if that’s how you want to act then fine. Jacob you need to look at the possible consequences here, you are supposedly the runner of an improper organisation, which not only completely violates the school rules, but also exploits your fellow classmates and students. You’re looking at more than just a suspension here, and to be honest, it will be quite extreme even for my own taste. You have a clean record. I did say prior to Leonard who was in this same situation that if any evidence was found that he would be expelled, and I believe I have to stay true to my word here. I’m just trying to understand why you would do such a thing, it is also why I do believe along with Will that perhaps you were coerced into doing this.
(he pauses again)
Do you really have nothing to say for yourself?

JACOB
Look sir, I haven’t done anything wrong, as far as I am concerned, you don’t have any proof of my supposed wrong-doings, and even if you did have proof, why would I suffer the punishment of all three of the supposed members in the “organisation” I’m in.

MR ANDREWS
You’re right, it doesn’t make sense why you would have to suffer their punishments, and that’s why I am giving you a choice here Jacob. You are receiving some sort of punishment here either way and there is no escaping that.

Jacob thinks about his friends for a moment.

JACOB
You still don’t have proof.

MR ANDREWS
Unfortunately Jacob, I beg to differ.

Mr Andrews pulls out the photos and Will J’s phone. He plays the same recording.

RECORDING PLAYS

PETER (O.S.)
His name is Jacob.

WILL J (O.S.)
Jacob?

PETER (O.S.)
Yeah, he’s the only Jacob in our year so Mr Andrews will know his last name.

RECORDING ENDS

Jacob looks dumbstruck.

MR ANDREWS
I don’t want to give you an extreme punishment here Jacob. You’re a good student, and again you have a clean record. Please tell me the names of your friends and I can try work out a lighter punishment on you and your friends.

Jacob still doesn’t say anything. He just looks at the photos.

MR ANDREWS (CONT’D)
Jacob?
(he sighs)
Are you going to tell me anything?

Jacob locks eyes with Mr Andrews.

JACOB
No.

Mr Andrews nods.

MR ANDREWS
Then I cannot help you.

CUT TO:

INT. SCHOOL — HALLWAY OUTSIDE HEAD OF SIXTH FORM’S OFFICE

Leonard and Matthew are stood at the end of the hallway erratically discussing their possible fates.

The door to Mr Andrews’ office opens and Jacob walks out with his bag.

He walks down the hallway, nodded towards them. They sit on the stairs.

MATTHEW
Is everything okay? What happened?

JACOB
I didn’t say anything.

LEONARD
Seriously?

JACOB
Yeah, I’m taking the blame for it.

MATTHEW
What do you mean?

JACOB
All of it. You’re no longer a suspect for anything Leo, I’m the only one getting punished.

MATTHEW
Actually?

Matthew and Leonard feel awkward and guilty.

MATTHEW (CONT’D)
I’m so sorry man, I know you wanted out.

JACOB
It’s okay guys don’t worry, it happens I guess.

LEONARD
It’s still fucked up of us to do that to you.
(smirking a little)
I know a way I could cheer you up, it’ll get you perked up that’s for sure.

Jacob chuckles a little and smiles at Leonard recognising his friend is just trying to cheer him up.

JACOB
Trust me, it’s fine guys. You would’ve been expelled Leo, and your record isn’t that great either Matthew, I’m not sure what you would’ve gotten.

Matthew nods.

MATTHEW
So what did you get?

JACOB
I’m expelled.

MATTHEW
What?

Matthew and Leonard are both filled with sadness and shock.

LEONARD
(despair)
Seriously? No suspension, no nothing?

Jacob nods.

JACOB
Yep. No suspension, just expelled.

MATTHEW
I’m so sorry Jake. We never wanted this to happen, and you wanted out too, fuck, I’m so, so sorry.

LEONARD
I’m sorry Jake, we should’ve listened to you.

JACOB
Guys, it’s okay. It isn’t any of your faults. I liked doing it too, it’s my fault for continuing. I’m not angry at any of you. I wanted to protect you guys, and that’s what I did.

Matthew and Leonard still look so guilty and remorseful.

JACOB (CONT’D)
Just, let me think for a bit.

LEONARD
Of course man.

MATTHEW
Yeah, sure.

Jacob leans back on the stairs. Matthew and Leonard follow suit.

Will J is walking down the corridor and sees them on the stairs. He looks guilty and quickly walks towards Andrews’ office. He pauses for a moment outside the office, staring at Jacob who’s eyes are closed with his head facing the ceiling. Will walks into the office.

JACOB (V.O.)
See, life isn’t all dandelions and,
(he pauses)
Uhmm, the other flowers, you know, sometimes you have to deal with your actions, and face the consequences.

CUT TO:

INT. TRAIN CARRIAGE — TIME OF DAY NOT CLEAR

Jacob is sat on a seat by himself, looking at his phone wearing a new tie as part of his new uniform. He has headphones in.

JACOB (V.O.)
Mr Andrews wasted no time in getting me expelled, and by the end of the week I was gone, transferred to some random school in east London, so far away from home and everything else.

CUT TO:

EXT. WANSDOWN PLACE — STREET TO SCHOOL — DAY

We see Matthew and Leonard leaning against the railing.

JACOB (V.O.)
But I still managed to protect my friends from potentially receiving the fate that I did, and for that I’ll always be proud of myself.

CUT TO:

INT. 211 BUS — TOP DECK — DAY

Jacob is sitting on the 211 by himself listening to music.

JACOB (V.O.)
I completed my A-levels at that school, it was long and boring, and honestly, it was the biggest waste of time, having only transferred for my final half-term.

CUT TO:

EXT. SEAGRAVE ROAD — ROAD TO SCHOOL — DAY

We see Will J walking down the street out of uniform.

JACOB (V.O.)
Another thing, that son of bitch Will J. Well on one of his last exam days, a few people in our year, who got their hair’s cut by us, punched him right in the stomach.

We see two guys come up to Will J. One punches him in the stomach, he falls to the ground. The other spits on him. They walk away.

JACOB (V.O.)
The little prick got what he deserved.

CUT TO:

EXT. MICKLETHWAITE ROAD — STREET TO SCHOOL — DAY

We see Matthew and Leonard again walking down the street together, entering Weavers Terrace.

JACOB (V.O.)
Am I angry at Matthew or Leo? Never. They’re my best friends, and they always will be, and there is nothing that will ever change that. I’ll always love them.

CUT TO:

EXT. LILLIE ROAD — DAY

Voiceover starts.

Jacob is sitting on the 190 Bus to Richmond. He gets off and starts walking down Lillie Road. He is holding a piece of paper.

It’s a resume.

JACOB (V.O.)
Before I knew it, it was my summer holidays. My uni-applications were fucked up because of getting expelled but I didn’t care anymore. The truth is, ultimately I liked our business. It was fun most of the time, albeit stressful the rest. We made good money and to me it seemed like most of the school loved us. All I wanted was to have a job which I could do with my friends, a job I could talk to people I like, and I found that. I had it. If I’m being honest with myself, at the end it wasn’t about the money. I think.
(he pauses)
I think I actually just liked giving people HairCUTS.

He is stood outside the Barbers he saw during Christmas. He takes a deep breath and walks through the front door.

FADE TO BLACK.

THE END

(RAFAEL SIMPSON © December 2022)