INT. BEDROOM

Cain opens his eyes.

He lays in bed.

CAIN
(thinks to himself)
Am I disgusting? Probably, why else would I be thinking about this? Please stop, I need to get ready.

Cain gets out of bed.

CUT TO:

INT. BATHROOM

Cain is brushing his teeth.

He stares at the sink, refusing to look at his reflection.

CAIN
(thinks to himself)
I know I don’t want to do this but why else am I getting these thoughts? It means I want it.

Cain spits out his toothpaste.

CAIN (CONT’D)
(thinks to himself)
It has to mean something. It has to mean I want it. Why would I be thinking it if I didn’t want it?

CUT TO:

INT. HALLWAY

Cain is putting his shoes on and tying his shoe laces.

CAIN
(thinks to himself)
So I’m a monster, great, what next? What am I meant to do with that? How am I meant to live with that?

Cain grabs his keys and leaves out his front door.

CUT TO:

EXT. SIDE STREET

We see Cain walking down the street. He wears headphones.

He stares at the pavement.

Someone walks close to him, he looks up.

It is a woman.

CAIN
(thinks to himself)
She’s pretty...

The woman passes him.

CAIN (CONT’D)
(thinks to himself)
Wait, how old was she?

He stops walking and turns his head back to look at her.

CAIN (CONT’D)
(thinks to himself)
Shit I can’t see her.

Cain carries on walking forward.

CAIN (CONT’D)
(thinks to himself)
Okay, that’s basically just admitting I like it. I don’t think she looked young, did she? No she can’t be young. Did she look young? Just fucking think clearly, did she —

CUT TO:

EXT. PARK PATH

Cain walks down a park path.

CAIN
(thinks to himself)
I can’t even say it. How the fuck am I meant to say this of all things? I’m a fucking piece of shit. I’m like the other pieces of shit. Everyone hates them so they’re going to hate me. I’m disgusting but I know it, so at least that makes me a little bit better.

We hear the sounds of a playground. Children playing.

Cain looks up towards the sounds.

He quickly looks down at the floor again.

CAIN (CONT’D)
(thinks to himself)
Why am I looking at them? Why am I checking myself for sensations? If I have to check myself it means I must like it. Why the fuck am I doing this? What the fuck is wrong with me?

Cain looks up there is a person standing in the path.

He looks at them and looks back at the ground.

CAIN (CONT’D)
(thinks to himself)
Why is that person looking at me? Did they see me looking? Oh my god, are they going to say something? They know I’m disgusting, they saw me. They’re going to tell people and record me. Then my friends and family will know how disgusting I am and then they’ll hate me. Everyone will leave me and my life will be over so I may as well kill myself.

Cain keeps walking but looks back. His eyes linger for a moment.

CAIN (CONT’D)
(thinks to himself)
What is wrong with me?

CUT TO:

I/E. TRAIN STATION

Cain walks into the station.

He stands on the platform.

He stares at the tracks.

The train approaches and he gets on.

CUT TO:

I/E. TRAIN CARRIAGE

Cain is sat in front of the window.

He doesn’t look out.

CAIN
(thinks to himself)
I’m disgusting. I don’t deserve to be alive.

CUT TO:

EXT. HOLLAND PARK - SOUTH GATES

Cain walks up to the gates.

Someone is waiting there. His friend Sadie.

SADIE
Hey Cain, how you doing?

Cain gives a slight nod.

CAIN
I’m alright Sadie, are you good?

They go in for a hug.

SADIE
Yeah not too bad.

CUT TO:

EXT. HOLLAND PARK MAIN PATH

Cain and Sadie are walking up a cycle-path going through the park.

There’s a fair amount of people walking about.

CAIN
That’s probably what I would do.

SADIE
Ooh, that’s good. I think if I went back in time I’d probably visit movie sets, I think that would be pretty cool.

Cain is distracted.

CAIN
(thinks to himself)
I’m a piece of shit. It’s only a matter of time before people realise what’s wrong with me. I told Jess but she could still tell others, why did I have to tell her? She didn’t understand, no one else will. No one wants to understand when it comes to this.

SADIE
I could steal a shit ton of props, then bring them back and sell them for a fortune.

Cain gives a weak smile to his friend.

CAIN
(thinks to himself)
I want to leave why are we still here?

CUT TO:

EXT. HOLLAND PARK - FOUNTAIN BENCHES

They come past the fountain and sit down on a bench.

SADIE
I mean what do you think though?

Cain is distracted, he is looking straight ahead.

CAIN
(thinks to himself)
I deserve to die -

Sadie interrupts his train of thought.

SADIE
Hey you okay?

He comes back to reality.

CAIN
Yeah I’m fine why do you ask?

SADIE
You seem a bit off.

CAIN
Sorry I’m a bit distracted.

SADIE
That’s alright. Do you want to talk about it?

Cain doesn’t really look at Sadie much. He seems ashamed to do so.

On the other hand, Sadie has no problem looking at him.

CAIN
Sorry no.

SADIE
Is it cause of your thing?

CAIN
Yeah.

SADIE
Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it? It might help. You don’t have to talk about it with me, I just don’t want you to be dealing with something alone.

CAIN
It’s not really something I can talk about.

SADIE
Why?

CAIN
People will hate me.

Sadie gets a confused look.

SADIE
I doubt that. There’s nothing you could say that would make me hate you, trust me.
(humorously)
You could pull your trousers down and take a shit in front of me, and I will not judge you.

Sadie looks at Cain for a reaction but he doesn’t find it amusing.

SADIE (CONT’D)
Okay, not the time for humour, I’ll stop.

Sadie keeps looking at Cain.

SADIE (CONT’D)
I promise you, I won’t hate you.

CAIN
I can’t say -- I don’t know if you will hate me. How am I meant to know?

SADIE
You can’t I guess. I can say I won’t and you can trust me and say what’s on your mind, or you could not trust me and say it anyway. You won’t know until it happens. But that is your choice, I want to make sure you know that.

Cain doesn’t say anything.

Sadie awkwardly waits for a response. They hesitate.

SADIE (CONT’D)
Do you want to talk about something else?

CAIN
Sure.

SADIE
Okay.

Sadie thinks for a second.

SADIE (CONT’D)
Uhm, ooh, I wanted to tell you, James is going to be having -

Cain interrupts.

CAIN
I get thoughts about sexually abusing children.

Sadie is shocked. They look at Cain.

SADIE
What?

Cain is still too ashamed to look at Sadie.

SADIE (CONT’D)
(unsure)
Okay, uhm.

CAIN
See, I knew you’d hate me. I think I’m going to go.

Cain stands up and starts moving.

Sadie grabs his forearm.

SADIE
Wait, wait, stay. I don’t hate you. Okay so you get thoughts, it doesn’t mean anything Cain.

CAIN
It does, it means I’m disgusting.

SADIE
Do you want to do these things?

CAIN
No, it’s disgusting, that means I’m disgusting.

SADIE
So you get these thoughts, about things you don’t want to do, and you think that makes you disgusting? That doesn’t make any sense Cain.

Sadie pulls Cain down to the bench.

They are both sitting again.

CAIN
I don’t know.

He looks down.

CAIN (CONT’D)
I’m scared.

SADIE
That’s okay.

CAIN
I don’t want people to know this. I don’t want people to see me as a monster. I don’t want them to hate me.

SADIE
If people don’t want to understand then who cares, you shouldn’t have to hide things from the people you love. If they don’t want to understand you then, maybe those aren’t the people you should have around you.

CAIN
It’s not that simple.

SADIE
I know.

There’s a moment of silence.

SADIE (CONT’D)
Do you hurt yourself?

Cain does not respond.

SADIE (CONT’D)
You don’t deserve to punish yourself. It doesn’t matter how “horrible” you think you are, no one deserves that.

CAIN
How am I meant to live with this? Every day I’m flooded with this shit in my head. What am I meant to do with that?

SADIE
I don’t know, I don’t think you do anything. You just make room for it in your head and leave it be. I mean it will come and go, and piss you off and scare you, but at least you’ll be alive.

CAIN
There’s no point though, my life is already over.

Sadie gets a visible confused reaction.

SADIE
(confused)
How?

Sadie looks around and then back at Cain, taking a moment to think.

SADIE (CONT’D)
You can still do everything you want, you can still live a fulfilling life. Having these thoughts won’t stop that from happening. Your world hasn’t ended. You’re just human, that’s it. Not a monster, not disgusting, just human.

CAIN
Okay.

SADIE
You need to tell yourself that having thoughts about harming children does not make you disgusting, it doesn’t mean your life is worthless.

Sadie looks at Cain for a moment.

SADIE (CONT’D)
Say it, seriously, it’ll be good for you.

Cain looks up at his friend.

He hesitates.

CAIN
Just because I have thoughts about harming children doesn’t mean that my life is worthless. It does not mean that I am disgusting.

SADIE
You’re not a bad person. You’re human.

Cain looks upset.

SADIE (CONT’D)
Say it.

CAIN
I’m not a bad person, I’m human.

FADE TO BLACK.

THE END

(RAFAEL SIMPSON © 2025)